eternally ephemeral [ poetry & prose ]

The Realization

I realize now
that nothing is
permanent
it's a determinant
fact the lies
you've spat their scars
they've scratched
the deep valleys
of my heart
those valleys
they'd filled up
with hollowness
with loneliness
with bleakness

I realize now
that you weren't permanent
a jagged line of my past
that's what you are
I've been trying to erase you
let the memories
you cursed me with
fade away
without it numbing
my shriveled soul

I realize now
that you weren't going to stay
you never wanted to
I was the fool
thinking you would
make your home
inside my chest
naïvely I gave you
the key to my heart
and you left it
underneath your mat
and moved away

I realize now
that you've gone
that pain
you've taken it away too
that heaviness
you'd stomped on me
it's gone
it isn't tugging me down
in the sea
I'm free
and now
I'll be sailing
on my own
finding treasures
instead of icebergs
and there's nothing
you can do to
sink me down