So Comes Snow After Fire

20.ii

It really was a wonder, Fíli mused, to think that he had lived all those years in Ered Luin nearly oblivious to the lovely young woman who now stood beside him, leaning half on his arm and half on the balcony rail. As Sif watched the busy square below, he watched her, taking in the curve of her cheek, the full sweep of her tawny lashes, a careless curl of white-gold hair against her temple. How had she not stood out to him before as the most beautiful woman in Ered Luin? Yet perhaps he could only say so now that he knew the strong, caring spirit behind her quiet exterior.

"You know when I first noticed you, of course, but you've never told me: when did you first fall in love with me?" Fíli asked, and Sif turned to look at him.

"Oh, well..." She smiled at him, implying the answer should be obvious. "Like most of the girls in our dûm, I suppose I've admired you since you first grew into a beard." Then she shook her head dismissively. "But when did I really fall for you..." She grinned, shyly this time. "It's a little bit embarrassing, actually."

"You don't want to tell me?"

"I'll tell you," she insisted readily, though she paused for some seconds before going on. "You know the time Freyr beat Kíli at a drinking contest?"

"I remember. I had to take Kíli out back to be sick." It had not been his fondest fraternal moment.

"I know you did," she affirmed. "And I felt sort of responsible since my brother had put Kíli up to it. Anyway, you came back inside, and Kíli looked terrible. I brought him some water, and you had to hold him up to drink it." She paused, momentarily self conscious, but Fíli knew to wait. "You had one arm around Kíli, and your other shoulder was against mine. We finally got Kíli to drink the water, and then you looked right in my face and thanked me. Oh Fíli, you'd never even noticed me before, but there you were, so close, and smiling as if you really knew me."

Fíli felt a smile spreading across his face once more. "Now that you say it, I remember. I was worrying what Mum would say if I brought Kíli home too drunk to stand up, and there you were apologizing as if it was your fault. And I thought you were very kind to care, since I certainly wouldn't have if your brother had lost the challenge."

"And I was thinking you were far more sensible than either of our brothers and very wonderful for looking after Kíli anyway," Sif confessed.

Fíli felt both warmed and humbled that she had thought so highly of him. "That was almost two years before the quest," he noted.

"I know; far too long for me to have said and done nothing." Sif sounded faintly annoyed, though Fíli knew it was not with him.

"Mum said you came to ask after me while we were gone."

Sif tossed her head fiercely. "Oh, I quite hated myself for never having the courage to go after you till it was too late. I kept thinking, what if you never came back? I truly didn't expect there was anything you would see in me, but I thought at least if I'd spoken, I would have had an answer, instead of wondering, for the rest of my life, what you might have said."

"Sif! Did you think I was too blind to see who you were if you gave me the chance?" He took her face in his hands.

"Well, the other girls were livelier and prettier and..." She trailed off in response to Fíli's astonished expression.

"Louder, maybe," he corrected her. "You are lively. And as for pretty— I begin to suspect that your father, for all his wealth, has not a single mirror in his house." He brushed his thumbs over her cheeks, then let go of her.

"Oh." Her smile, as she comprehended his evaluation of her, was slow and without conceit.

"I recall you once told me that if I didn't think better of myself, you would have to remind me to," Fíli said.