Lost In Time: A Doctor Who Fanfiction

Chapter 36 - Face Your Fears

Lyssa staggered away from the building, trying to put as much distance between it and herself as possible. Her vision kept blurring with tears, obscuring the quiet lot, and she had to keep swiping them away with her left hand. Her right hand, still stained with the remnants of Bria's blood, was kept firmly curled into a fist and tucked out of sight. 

A whirling breeze swept through, chilling her to the bone. She hunched miserably in on herself, wrapping stiff hands around her arms in an attempt to block the biting wind and wishing she had a thicker jacket. All that she needed now was for it to start raining, and she glanced up at the early morning sky, half expecting it to start pouring down on her. 

But the horizon remained cloudless, continuing to lighten into bright, cheerful colors, utterly heedless of the tragedy that had occurred below. She glanced around, vaguely wondering where everyone was - she assumed that carnival workers tended to stay by the fairgrounds overnight. Or even that there would be at least a few people moving around to get ready for the next day's work.

Then again, she also wouldn't put it past the Master to have the exit door lead to some fake fairgrounds, just to further mess with her. The Doctor would have known - he'd probably have figured it out in an instant; smelled the difference in the air, or scanned it with his sonic while also making some sort of wisecrack. 

But the Doctor wasn't there, and he never would be again. 

She collapsed to the ground as a fresh wave of grief washed over her, heedless of the rocks and gravel digging into her knees. Her breath hitched in her throat as fresh tears stung her eyes, the look on his face as he saved her burned into her memory. Hope and relief, all in one. 

At least someone had felt it that night, because she had none left, she reflected bitterly. She forced her eyes shut, a few hot tears squeezing their way out and trickling down her face to splash against the pavement. 

All those times she'd cried watching the show, it was over someone leaving - not dying, never dying. Even Clara had managed to find a way to keep going with the Doctor's aid. And even in the sorrow of losing someone there'd always been the comfort of the fact that the Doctor always won in the end, someway, somehow.

This wasn't the show. They weren't actors, and multiple people - including her friend - had just been horribly murdered. She raised a shaky hand to swipe at her face and winced at the sharp pain as it re-opened her cut lip, hot blood spilling onto her hand. 

She pulled her hand away with a shudder, wiping it on her pants. She was less successful shoving down the memories that came along with it, but dug her nails into her palms, willing the pain to keep her focused. There was no Doctor this time to comfort her, to pull her out of a flashback with the whispered promises that she was safe and everything was going to be all right. 

She didn't think she would have believed him anyway. 

Fresh pain welled up and she nearly gasped at the force of it. She struggled to contain it, only for a keening wail to escape her anyway. She collapsed forward, her palms smacking into the hard ground the only thing keeping her upright. 

"I - I don't understand," she whispered brokenly. Her vision blurred once more, and she left it this time. What was the point? What was there worth looking at anymore? "Why did you have to die? It's not - it's not fair!" 

"Life's usually not, I find," a smooth voice told her, sending chills along her spine. She raised her head, swiping at her eyes to see the Master strolling towards her, hands tucked into his pockets as he came to a stop a few feet away from her. "And anyone who thinks otherwise is a fool." 

"This wasn't the natural way of things. This was you!" she spat, ire overwhelming her grief. 

"Taking risks is the Doctor's life," he countered with a sneer, before his eyes widened. "Oh, forgive my grammar. It was the Doctor's life," he corrected with a cruel smirk. "I always did find tenses difficult."