Because I'm a Girl

Chapter 24

I stared at my reflection, taking myself in. The red dress I wore flattered my skin tone and I twirled around, watching as it spiralled around my feet. My heels were exposed momentarily and I grinned at myself, feeling tall for once.

The doorbell rang and I jumped at the noise. I threw on my coat and grabbed my handbag, and opened the door with a racing heart. Josh was exactly on time and I had been anxious to see him.

Upon seeing Josh, my eyes flew wide. He was wearing a black suit and his hair was swept back. Despite the sun being set, his blue eyes shone and I smiled at him, proud he was my date to the dance. Not just because he was gorgeous, but also because he was someone I had grown to care about.

"Hey," I said. "You look amazing."

"Hey," Josh said. "Thanks."

We stared at each other for a moment and I waited for Josh to say something. Deep down I wanted him to comment on my look, but he hadn't looked at my outfit. He only stared at my face and I brushed one of my curls back, feeling self-conscious.

"Let's go," Josh said, breaking the silence.

He turned around and walked off to his car, and I followed him. My heart began to sink because something felt off. Josh seemed tense and standoffish, and it left me feeling uneasy. Something had changed in the week leading up to the dance and I had no idea what it was. Everything had been fine beforehand, so I didn't know why Josh seemed to be acting differently.

Climbing into the car, I wondered if I was imagining it. Josh had always been expressionless and distant, and I wondered if I had forgotten about that side of him. But staring at him as he drove off, I also knew Josh had been changing. He had become more open and suddenly, he seemed to have fallen back into his old ways.

The car ride was silent and before I knew it, we were at school. Josh parked the car and got out, and I followed him once again. He was walking ahead of me, his body stiff, and I sighed lightly. My heart felt heavy and my mind was running through ideas of why Josh was acting like this. After our dance, I thought he cared about me. I thought he wanted something more from me, but clearly I was wrong.

Entering the school, I followed Josh to the gym. He opened the door and I ran to catch up to him, and my heart skipped a beat when Josh waited for me to grab the door. My eyes softened and for a moment, hope bloomed within me that Josh cared.

But, Josh then waked ahead of me and went off to the side of the dimly lit gymnasium. I followed him, smiling at the sight of the packed room. Thanks to Amber, Lacey, Cindy and Ashley, our event was popular. It was filled with many of our peers and they were all on the dance floor, dancing to the loud music being played by the DJ we hired.

I walked over to Josh's side and stood next to him. Our backs were pressed against the walls of the gymnasium and both our eyes were on the dance floor. I glanced at Josh, noticing the way his eyes remained glued to the dance floor. His face was expressionless, but something about the look left me wanting to ask Josh to dance.

"Do you want to dance?" I asked.

"I'm fine," Josh replied.

My heart sank and I moved my eyes back to the dance floor. Josh was acting cold and once again, I was left to wonder what I did. Everything had been fine between us, but suddenly Josh was acting as if I was bothersome.

My eyes spotted Aaron who was dancing with a blonde girl. They were laughing as they held each other and I noticed how happy the girl look. She was grinning and so was Aaron, and my mind went back to the days he showed interest in me. I felt nothing for Aaron, but seeing him look so happy with another girl left me yearning for something. It left me wanting what he seemed to have and I wondered if I screwed up by ignoring Aaron and choosing Josh. After Aaron told me I was like any other girl who chose the emotionless jerk rather than the nice guy, I felt pathetic.