Because I'm a Girl

Chapter 28

Josh and I sat in front of my locker. Our legs were stretched out in front of us and we were eating our lunches. It was quiet, but I was content.

"I was thinking about the issues boys face and I think our club should start spreading awareness about their issues, too," I said, glancing at Josh. "I know we haven't been able to spread much awareness and we only have a few more months left of school, but... we should help guys and girls. I'm not sure how yet, but we'll figure it out in our next meeting."

"We should make our last event huge," Josh said. "We'll use it to leave an impact on the issues everyone faces regarding gender."

Thinking about it, I brightened up. I hated the idea of having only one event left, but Josh was right. We would make our last event huge and we would leave an impact. Somehow, we would make a difference.

Thinking about Josh's life, I asked, "Do you ever talk to your dad about the way he treats you? Have you ever explained to him that being emotional doesn't make you any less of a man?"

"No," Josh said. "My dad's close-minded. There's no point in arguing with someone who won't understand."

"Your dad sounds like my mom."

At the thought of my mom, I sighed lightly. Things hadn't changed between us and even if we were on good terms, I wished things could change. I wished Aiden would do housework and my mom would let me do whatever I wanted as a girl, but I knew arguing with her was pointless. She didn't understand and I doubted she ever would.

"Your mom never understood that girls and guys should be treated equally, right?" Josh asked.

"No," I said, deflating.

"How do you usually explain to your mom that girls should be treated the same as guys? Do you do it calmly?"

"I try to explain it to her calmly, but... I end up snapping usually." I blushed, embarrassed. "I just get so frustrated because she just doesn't understand why it's unfair to treat boys and girls differently. And I don't understand why she doesn't understand either. That should make sense to anyone."

"You should take a calmer approach and explain how it makes you feel. I'm guessing you tell her it's unfair, but you don't tell her how it affects you personally."

I nodded, realizing Josh was right. Whenever I brought up the subject, I focused on telling her that boys and girls should be treated equally, but I never told her how it made me feel. I didn't know why I never did, but I wondered if it would make a difference.

"I don't know if that'll make a difference," I said, sighing. "I've spent the last couple of years trying to get my mom to understand. I gave up."

"It's hard," Josh said, putting his arm around my shoulders. "But, you shouldn't give up."

I smiled as Josh pulled me closer to him. My insides felt warm and Josh smiled at me, leaving me happy that we made it official. We'd only been together for a week and I'd never been happier.

"You should tell your dad how it makes you feel, too," I said. "Tell him how it affects you and he'll understand."

"My dad will think I'm a wimp," Josh said. "He'll tell me I'm not acting like a man."

I groaned at his words and Josh smiled. Josh's dad was stubborn and frustrating, and I realized he was like my mom. Both our parents had these ideas that they held onto, even though they hurt their kids. It was annoying and I wondered if things could ever change.

Resting my head on Josh's shoulder, I said, "You know, I've been thinking about how my club didn't go the way I wanted it to."

"How come?" Josh asked.

"I created this club to spread awareness about the issues girls face, but... I ended up hosting events that would bring in more members." I sighed. "Yeah, I got more members, but I never got to spread awareness. We only have a few more months left and... I realized I achieved nothing with my club. I was so focused on getting more members that I forgot my original goal."

Sighing, I was glad I let out what had been bothering me. With only a few more months left of school, I realized I accomplished nothing with my club. I had once hoped to spread awareness about the issues girls face and leave an impact, but I hadn't done that. Instead I hosted events that did nothing but give others an enjoyable time.

"We still have one more event," Josh said. "We'll use that event to spread awareness to everyone."

"I had an entire year to spread awareness and I wasted it." I groaned. "I don't know why I was obsessed with getting more members."

Josh didn't say anything for a moment and we sat in silence. I drowned in my thoughts, wondering how I lost sight of what was important. Once Josh was recruited, I should have focused on spreading awareness, but instead I continued to search for more members. I wasted so much time and I regretted it.

"I didn't make a difference in anyone's life," I said quietly. "My club is pointless."

"You made a difference in my life," Josh said, surprising me. "You know how I was when we first met. I thought girls had no issues and I was ignorant. But then, you proved to me the issues girls faced were serious and I changed. I would never have expected myself to be in a club that spreads awareness about the issues girls face, but here I am."

My eyes widened and I stared at Josh for a second, realizing he was right. One of my goals had been to recruit Josh and I accomplished it. It hadn't been easy, but somehow I got Josh to join my club despite how close-minded he once was.

"You did make a difference in someone's life," Josh said, smiling. "So don't say your club is pointless."

"You're right," I said, grinning. "Thank you. You always know how to make me feel better."

Josh pressed his lips to my forehead and I blushed. My heart grew warm and I continued to smile up at Josh, thankful we met. Months ago I would never have expected us to come so far, but I was more than happy we had.