Safer This Way

Chapter 6

So, so, so sorry for the wait everyone! It's been...a weird couple of weeks and I had little time to write, but it should be back to once a week now. Nothing exciting really happens in this chapter but it needed to happen to domino the rest of the story. Hope you enjoy it anyways! Happy reading :)

*Sang*

Everything hurts.

My body feels like it's on fire, and my insides feel like they've been scraped clean after puking and crying and bleeding and screaming so much that I'm surprised there's anything left of me at all.

"Serves you right for trying to break the rules," Marie's cruel voice coos at me from the doorway, but I can't even lift my head to look at her. Apparently my lack of reaction wasn't what she wanted because a second later I'm yanked upwards by my hair.

An evil grin fixes itself on her face as she drops me back to the hard bathroom floor, satisfied that I can see her now. "Honestly, I don't know why you even tried to talk to those boys, they'll never want someone like you. No one ever will, you're a stupid little girl in boy's clothing, worthless and unlovable." Having said her piece, she sneers at me once more before slamming the door shut behind her, leaving me to stew on her words in the quiet, the cool tile bringing relief to the burning of my ribs.

At first I wonder if perhaps she's right, after all she's more attuned to the subtle nuances of social interactions than I am. Maybe they did feel sorry for the quiet nerdy kid without a soul to turn to when the football players shoved me into lockers or called me names, or when the raven haired creepy girl and gang punctured my personal bubble. Maybe they invited me to sit with them out of pity, or maybe it was even a joke, a prank, a bet of some kind to trick me into feeling like a pat of their group while they secretly laugh.

I can feel myself beginning to spiral with 'what ifs' and all the awful possibilities for why they even glanced my way before I remember the moments I've had with them.

First it was North, my dark knight, my voice in the forest who begged to help me and who had saved me with his kind words.

Then Dr. Green and Mr. Blackbourne, the first people in my life to believe I could achieve something, to encourage my pursuit of learning and attempt to broaden my horizons.

Nathan who'd rushed to my side in concern when I'd jumped from my window, only to invite me into his group of friends, like he wanted me to be a part of it, seconds later.

Gabriel, the fashion guru with a penchant for cursing who paid me my first compliment ever, then followed it with an offer to take care of me–my hair, really–something my own mother figure had never done.

Luke, my smiley, dreamy, goofball who accepted my presence in their life without blinking an eye, ready to be my partner in crime if ever I needed one.

Kota, the quiet genius always counting something, had taken steps to ensure I knew the guys in all my classes, and let them know as well, in no time bringing me into the fold like I was meant to be there.

Victor, the sweetheart who, at my slightest hesitation, offered me solace and an escape route just in case there was a need, already looking out for me.

Finally, Silas, the gentle Greek giant who worried for me the second I sat down, ready to stand against the world to protect me from harm or discomfort.

No, they would never treat me so poorly, I wasn't a joke to them, to think otherwise would be unfair to them. The nine of them are genuine, compassionate individuals who were unfortunate enough to have me around, I owe it to them to leave them be. They don't deserve someone like me to tarnish their lives, a liar who can't even tell them her real name, but I'm selfish enough to want to stay, for as long as they'll have me.