Safer This Way

Chapter 20

Holy shit you guys, where did the time go? So sorry this took so long to get out, but pneumonia is no joke. Hopefully I have another chapter up soon since I'm on the mend. Thank you (most of you ;)) for being patient with me even though I left you hanging from a pretty intense cliff with the last chapter.

P.S. warning that this chapter is pretty abuse heavy and also not edited AT ALL (it's her stepmonster so beware)...happy reading!

*Sang*

Eyes finally dry, face numb from the cold, body paralyzed with sadness, and heart falling apart inside of me, leaving tiny pieces like shards of glass behind me as I run blind through the trees.

Low hanging branches and things sting my limbs as I crash through the forest, but I can hardly feel it over the pain in my heart from the knowledge that I have to leave the boys behind.

I thought that if I was careful, if I held my secrets closer than ever, that maybe, just maybe, I could have some semblance of a normal life. At first, I was careful. So incredibly cautious with every breath I took, and yet slowly but surely, each of the nine boys had worn down my walls until I found myself slipping through the cracks. They had become my safe place, to the point where I sometimes forget that I had to be anyone other than my truest self whenever we were together.

Somewhere in the recesses of my mind, I register the sound of familiar voices calling out from the trees, but at the moment I'm too focused on getting away.

The second I reach the trash cans on the side of my house, strategically placed directly beneath my bedroom window, I forget all about the voices and the pain and focus on getting inside and back without incident. All I know is that tonight I cannot sleep under the same roof as my torturer, not if I am to stay sane.

Hoisting myself up on shaky arms, I tumble silently through the window, sparing only the briefest of moments to catch my breath before I find my backpack and begin filling it with all my worldly possessions. I don't have much, so it doesn't take long.

With that done, my hands grasp at the air uselessly with nothing else to do, and a sharp pain lances my chest to know that the summation of my life, everything I call mine can fit into a tattered school pack, and not even fill it.

Shaking my head to rid the extra melancholy threatening to send me back under the wave of despair I'd only just managed to control, I glance down at the now dirty pink dress. As much as I loathe the thought of putting on my boy clothes even once more, it's not smart for me to wear this if I want to escape. No one will question a teenage boy walking through the city at night, but they will notice and take advantage of the broken girl in the raggedy pink dress.

With a sigh, I smooth my hands lovingly down the fabric, picking off leaves as I do, before reaching for the hem, only to have the voice that haunts my every waking nightmare and daylight reality freeze me where I stand.

"What. Is. That."

No. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.

All heartbreak and thoughts of running away become secondary, and my vision spots from lack of oxygen to my brain, the unfettered terror coursing through my brain leaving no room for reason or escape.

As I think it, I force myself to exhale, and the trembling starts when I hear my door creak further open and footsteps bring the monster closer every second.

Soon enough, she's close enough that her warm breath creeps along the back of my neck, and I can't keep the whimper of fear silent. The sound stops her movement, and I can feel the evil in her laugh at what a shaking, terrified mess I've become within seconds, when she has yet to even begin.