Safer This Way

Chapter 16

Update! I know you've all been anxiously awaiting for the boys to find out that Shaw is in fact Sang, and it's not in this chapter :) But it is soon, I can feel it. Everything is going to start unraveling soon...Happy reading!!

*Sang*

He's avoiding me.

Not that I don't completely understand why, but it's starting to get to me.

And I realize that it makes me a hypocrite of the highest order because all I want to do right now is force him to talk to me, or heck, even look at me at least once this week.

"It's not personal. We're all a little fucked in the head, and after what he said under the influence, he's afraid that you hate him," North grunts out from his seat behind me, and I withhold the frustrated groan from escaping.

"I could never hate any of you," I grunt back and nearly falls out of my seat when he flashes a small smile my way, the single dimple in his left cheek appearing for a brief teasing second.

"Remember that you said that." There's humor in his voice this time, and I wonder where Mr. Dark and Angry went.

Shortly after our chat, the bell rings, and North laughs outright when I let out a small scream of frustration as Nathan nearly bolts from the classroom.

Irritated, I gather my things, shoving them into my backpack all the while muttering under my breath. "Stupid boys and their stupid brains with their stupid avoidance and annoyingness."

Another sharp laugh from North shakes me out of my upset state and I glance over to see his dimple out to play again. "You say that like you're not one," he jokes and my bows scrunch in confusion.

"One what?"

"A boy."

I feel my face pale and my spine goes rigid for a moment before I can mask my reaction to his joking words, ones that come far too close to the truth for my peace of mind. For a brief second I entertain the dream of telling him that he's right, that I'm not a boy, that I'm not okay at home and that I need someone to save me before it's too late. But I can't.

A forced laugh squeezes past the sudden lump in my throat, and I avoid eye contact. "I'm no like you guys, that's for sure. He's just frustrating right now because he won't even let me apologize."

I can feel his dark eyes boring into the side of my head, obviously trying to figure out what the hell just happened, but to my enormous relief he lets it go. "What the hell do you have to apologize for?"

I sigh. "It's my fault any of this even happened in the first place. I had literally just been warned that Jade was dangerous, and I didn't think twice about drinking the water she handed to me, I even dismissed that the label was no longer on it after it fell. If it weren't for me Nathan wouldn't have gotten drugged and he wouldn't be feeling guilty and awful for it right now." After my slightly long winded speech, I chance a glance at North to find his gaze intensified again as he stares down at me in a mixture of disbelief and awe.

"That's bulshit and you know it," he growls before pushing at the sall of my back to get me walking down the hallway to study hall. "It's nobody's fault except for that psychotic bitch and her fucking weird ass obsession with you. She was trying to drug you, Ba–Shaw. We're all glad it was him instead if it had to happen, Doc said that it was high enough of a dosage that it could've killed you. So don't fucking say any of this was your fault."

When he's finished, I gape at him. Not only was that the most I'd ever heard him say at one time, but it was also the most emotion I'd heard from him since he'd begged a stranger in the woods to let him help her. The memory nearly brings tears to my eyes and I have to look away before he sees.