Against The Odds: Guarded

23

LUCAS POV

On the way back home I was fuming. Dr. Baker meant to piss me off today and damn it it worked. I pulled into the front drive and checked my watch to see that I had an hour left before I had to be at work. When I slammed the door to the house my mum emerged out of the kitchen to tell me off I’m sure...great!

“Blake stop slamming my doors. Use your words when something is bothering you! What’s wrong love?”

“Nothing!” Except I don’t want to walk you down the aisle. It sounds mean even when I say it in my head, but she can’t honestly think that it’s okay for me to do that. Then again, the whole damn wedding is not okay, but she’s going through with it. My mum and Dr. Baker are forming a conspiracy against me. They know I can’t do it and they’re trying to put me back in Maudsley.

“Do you want to play a game of scrabble?”

“I don’t have time for that. I have to work. You only play to be nosy and I said I’m fine so can we for once just leave it at that?!”

My mum only plays scrabble with me because when I put words together sometimes I unintentionally spell out how I feel. She used to do it when I was in the hospital all the time when I wouldn’t speak to her. She’s only trying to help and I didn’t mean to snap at her, but I did and my bipolar won’t let me take it back. I chuckle to myself thinking of Maya. If I would have tried to blame anything on being bipolar with her she would be having a fit right now telling me that my rudeness has nothing to do with my disorder. Honestly sometimes it really does.

I head for the medicine cabinet and pop two aripiprazole. I’ll need to be as stable as possible today especially since I have to go to the bar in an overly annoyed state. My mum eyes me as I take the medicine and I roll my eyes skyward and turn my back to her as I finish drinking my water to swallow down the pills.

“Lucas, did Gemma drop off my seating charts this morning?” Shit!

“Yes.”

“Do you know where they are?”

“....Um, I- I put them in your room on your table. Are they not there now?”

My mum took a deep breath before rubbing a hand over her eye she started to look stressed and I began to feel like absolute shit.

“I must have moved them. I’ve been reorganizing things since I’ve gotten home today. I’m sure I’ll find them.”

I turned to leave the kitchen hoping that guilt that I felt wasn’t as apparent on my face.

I got to the foot of the stairs when my mum called me again. She always gets me when I’m out of earshot. I turned back around and gave her a fake grin before I answered her desperately trying to hide how I really feel.

“Yes?”

“You should invite Maya to the wedding. I understand she works and may not be able to come on short notice, but I’d love to have her there if you want her there that is.”

I felt worse as my mum continued to speak. Why does she have to be so sincere and sweet all the time? It would make what I did that much easier if she wasn’t.

“I’ll ask her.” As I head up the stairs the idea flashes in my head that my mum being married and happy wouldn’t be so bad after all but it’s quickly replaced when I look at one of my favorite pictures of Gemma and my mum. I had to tear the picture in half so that Clive wouldn’t be in it anymore, but his arm was still around my mum’s shoulder and visible.

MAYA POV

When I got off of work, I called to tell Riley about everything that was going on since I’ve gotten back. For once in her life, she didn’t know what to say. Riley had no idea’s and she was silent on the other end of the line.