Flippy And Fliqpy Roleplay!

SECTION 5: SCARS THAT WILL NEVER HEAL Part 3

Once the two got into their room, Flippy changed his shirt and hid the other one, while fliqpy just fell on his bed. He still couldn't deal with himself. On one hand he beated up an innocent person, almost killed him, Because he hurt his brother. But on the other hand, he sort of deserved it. But he lost control. He wasn't thinking straight, it was all rage and anger. He didn't know what to think about it... However when he saw Flippy staring at him like that something made him stop and calm down, get back to his senses. Was it the fact that it was him? He was pretty much fine besides the scratch on his neck.
He didn't understand it. Why was he so mad?! It didn't make sense, he should keep his cool in such situations, but he didn't. It felt weird. He couldn't help but feel terribly guilty for this and the fact he couldn't help his brother in any way. He felt useless and weak, and just... disgusted with himself...

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"Come on, let's go and spend some time with our parents. They won't find out."

Flippy said but Fliqpy didn't even want to even look at him.
"It's alright... I'm tired, I'll just stay here. But you go, they'll be happy to finally chat with you."

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"Hm... okay"

Flippy opened the door and looked at his brother.

"Don't forget it wasn't your fault okay ?"

He then closed the door behind him and went down stairs. Their parents were watching TV so he joined. When they asked about his brother, he said he was tired so he stayed in their room to rest.
He was feeling a bit sleepy, like nearly everyday. The sound of the TV and his foster parents next to him helped him relax but he was still a bit worried about his brother. What happened back there ? He had the same look he had when they were at the enemy's base... That wasn't good. But at least he calmed down.

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Fliqpy felt his body failing him in more than one way. His training and lack of food worn him out, the fight made him confused and still a bit angry, feeling the madness, while his brother made him realise he was still too weak to protect him... It was so unfair....
He sat on the bed, not feeling anything. His whole body was just empty. What was wrong with him ?! Why couldn't he be stronger ?! He was such a disgrace... He couldn't protect his own brother the other time and now it was too close. And here he was, letting his own training beat him to it too.

But as the old saying says, beat fire with fire.

He grabbed his pen knife, making sure its sharp. And dug into the soft flesh on the inside of his wrist. He gritted his teeth slightly but then sighed a sigh of relief. Why? Why was this pain so satisfying? He didn't understand... But he didn't care. He continued to do it. Letting the physical pain wash the mental one away. When he was more or less satisfied he grabbed his hoodie. He wouldn't let anyone know. Ever.

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After a while, Flippy came back to the room. It was late now and his parent went to bed. He saw his brother asleep on his bed with his clothes on. He smiled a bit and covered him with a blanket. He looked so calm when he was sleeping like that. Flippy was happy he actually got some rest, he looked very tired after this fight.
He turned around to his own bed. He needed to sleep too, he knew this. His injuries would not cure like that. But the nightmares were worse after the last mission. He knew that sometimes sleeping pills could cause blank dreams. It didn't work last time, but maybe if he took a bit more it would cause it?
So he took his medication and the sleeping pills after changing his bandages. Then he just had the time to lay on his bed before he was knocked out by exhaustion and his medicine.

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The next day Fliqpy woke up and, to his surprise, his brother was still asleep. He was glad he got to rest at last, it was all he wanted. But what he did yesterday... just wouldn't leave him. He quickly grabbed his knife, tucked into his trousers and went out to train, in his black hoodie in which the stains wouldn't show, and even if, would be completely invisible on the black fabric. He ignored the hunger and the pain in his legs and arms while training. This pain was different though, it kept him going.
Over the next days, it became a routine thing, as he gained cuts and scars on his wrists, forearms and even upper arms lacking the space. His hoodie became his most important item of clothing, hiding his shame, as he continued to train, with the pain keeping him going somehow. His brother also seemed to get better. He slept a bit more than usual, and the shadows under his eyes were almost entirely gone! Fliqpy felt a bit better, but he knew he couldn't take anything for granted. It was his mission to never fail his brother again. Keep him safe at all costs.

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Flippy was happy, his brother was looking a bit better! He was still training and didn't eat much but it was a good improvement anyway. The sleeping pills were working too! Sometimes, when he took them, the nightmares didn't come. It was so peaceful to have some sleep without those awful things in his mind. But it didn't work every time though. Bur for some reason he still took the pills the next day, only taking a bit more to make it work. He didn't care that he was sleeping a lot, the blank dreams and the pills made him feel good again.
One afternoon, when his brother was out for a run, he was bored. He took the box of pills to get some sleep to rest, even if his injuries were almost entirely healed now. When he saw that he box was nearly empty and the dose of pills left was just a bit higher than what he used too, he took it without thinking and layed on his bed. He fell in a black abyss before he even touched the pillow, feeling more like passing out than falling asleep.

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Fliqpy was just sitting on a log in the forest, drinking some water with sugar which became a habit, and twirling the pocket knife around in his palm. He glanced at his arms, covered in older scars and fresher cuts. For a few weeks he did it, and he almost enjoyed it. He felt so messed up inside, he didn't know what was right or wrong anymore, he only cared for his brother, but for some reason this habit of self harming wouldn't go away. The pressure of his task and his self hate towards his weak body were still there. He just couldn't help it. He took his knife and started doodling on his arm. Sometimes he'd do that or write words. Nothing in particular, just pentagrams, crosses and curse words most the time, taking his anger out on himself. This time he accidentally cut slightly too deep, causing a wave of unexpected pain to shoot up his body and a heavy bleeding to go with it. He shivered slightly. He then quickly bandaged the cut up as usual, pulled his hoodie on, washed the knife in the river and ran home.

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Flippy suddenly woke up. His hands were gripping the bed sheet tightly. He panted, staring at the ceiling. He had a nightmare this time. A very awful one. The pain felt so real... wait... the pain was still there... How was this possible, it was just a nightmare... Right ?
Flippy sat on his bed and looked at his arm. It wasn't injured, so why did he feel pain ?
That wasn't the first time either and now that he had some time to think about it, those moment when he nearly passed out for no reason and the random pain in his body that felt like it wasn't his... It was all far more strange than he thought at the time. And then a memory hit him. In the last mission, just before the enemies got in the cell, he remembered noticing injuries on his brother at the exact same place those phantom pains were. He didn't think much of it back then, because of more important things at hand, but... It was very, very strange...
Wait, if it wasn't a coincidence, then... This pain in his arm....

Oh no. Don't. Please Fliqpy tell me you're not doing that. Tell me that the hoodie your started wearing was because you were cold during your training.