Blood Lust

Nineteen: Meltdown

//Riley//

"That's Karma"
~

I wake up bright and early in another state. Not California but Oregon. It's 6:18 so none of the guys are up except for the bus driver and me of course. Now that my humanity is on, I have body issues. I care about what people think and what I think about. I think about my sister and how she treats me. Yes I have a sister that I didn't kill but that's because she doesn't live with me. I didn't lie about my parents being divorced but I did lie about not having a sister but that's not a point. The point is, is that now I have body issues and I care about my weight, how much I eat, and all of that stuff. No I'm not anorexic or hurt myself but I have those feelings now so that's great. Which is one of the qualities that I didn't want back. I get up and sleepily walk into the bathroom yawning. I go to the restroom, take a shower, and do my regular morning routine. I get dressed wearing a maroon crop top sweatshirt, black legging, white converse, and some light makeup. After I tie my shoes, I look at myself in the mirror
Do I look presentable? Do I look actually good?
I shrug and walk towards the kitchen to get some blood. There is a curtain between the bus driver and the rest of the bus so I'm fine. I take out a blood bag and sit down on the couch. I flip through the channels sipping on the blood looking for a good show/movie. As I'm flipping through the channels, I find High School Musical and immediately smile and put the remote down. The first guy to come walking out is Jonah. He waves and walks into the kitchen and starts to make coffee.
"Thank you for being here for me Jonah." I smile
He nods his head and gives me a toothy grin
"What are best friends for?" He shrugs
I wave at him to come by me. He walks over and I hug him.
"Why didn't you just stand up and walk over there yourself?" He raises an eyebrow
"Because High School Musical is on duh" we both laugh
His phone starts to ring and he looks at who it is.
"It's my mom, I got to take this" I nod and he walks out of the room
I frown. Tears start to come to my eyes and I jog to the bathroom. I shut the door quietly and lock it while leaning on the sink. I look at myself in the mirror, watching the tears flow down.
I killed my mom. I killed my mom! I KILLED MY OWN MOM.
"I'm so stupid" I whisper while letting quiet sobs escape my lips
I killed so many people. They are ALL dead because of me! I'm a horrible person
I try to turn around but because it's such a small space I bang my head on the walL and groan in pain.
"That's karma" I shake my head while walking out. I go to where Jonah is which is in the back of the tourbus by the x-box and video games.
"Jonah" I whimper
He looks at me and sees the tears that have stained my face.
"It hurts so bad" he pauses the game and stands up. He was over to me holding out his arms frowning. He pulls me in a tight hug and rubs my back. I lay my head in his chest while sobbing. We pull away from the hug and I look at him letting tears flow and I can't help but frown.
"It hurts so bad Jonah. My mom is dead and it hurts so much." I bite my lip
"My dad is gone and I have no one else. No one but you Jonah and it hurts. It feels like I can't breath. I can't- I can't do anything without feeling the pain or grief that she's gone." I start to sob
He pulls me into another hug
"I know it hurts, but everyone goes through grief in their life. That's what feeling are and it's good to feel grief. It's means you have feelings and it means that your human Riley. It will go away soon. I promise"