My Messy Life

Chapter 10

You know that feeling you get when someone is watching you? Well, I'd had that feeling for two days now. Everywhere I went I felt like I was being followed and watched. I looked over my shoulder all the time and I was scared to go out at night now, afraid that someone would get me.

I woke up Friday morning excited for my girl’s night out with Mia. I was ready to have fun and not think about Brandon, Mike or Erica in any way. I picked up my phone and texted Mia, making sure we were still on for tonight. She didn't text me back, she called me all excited.

"Hey Davis. Are you ready for tonight?" The smile in her voice was contagious and I mentally smacked myself for not becoming her friend before now. She was always so happy. I needed that in my life.

"You have no idea. I'm so excited I can't stand it! What time are we leaving?"

"We wanted to leave here around nine, but why don't you come over beforehand and we can get ready together? Be here around seven?"

"Sounds good. Text me your dorm number, ok? Thanks again for this Mia. I really needed a girl’s night out."

"Davis, you are way too tense. I'm glad you agreed to come out with me tonight because we are going to have some serious fun and make you forget all of the bad crap that's happened the last few weeks."

We talked for a few more minutes about what I should wear. I just gave up and decided I'd bring a few outfits and Mia could help me pick them out in person. Something inside my head told me that I wasn't going to like what she picked out though. I knew it was going to be the shortest, sluttiest, tightest thing I owned.

I got off my bed and took a shower, shaving and scrubbing my body to perfection. I felt like I was scrubbing off the old me, revealing a new me. I was smiling as I got out of the shower and realized it was noon and I still hadn't eaten anything. I dressed quickly and walked into the living room, looking for my roommate. She was never home and I don't know why I thought she would be today. I think maybe she's got a boyfriend and she spends most of her time at his place, because there were days that I didn't see her at all.

I shrugged my shoulders, put my shoes on, grabbed my English book and walked towards the small store on campus. They had hot food and my nerves were too all over the place to really eat anything of substance. I grabbed a Pepsi and a sandwich and headed for my favorite rose garden to finish my book for English.

Plopping myself down on the grass under a tree, I looked up at the sky. It was warm and sunny, almost like the day was telling me to be happy. I smiled and opened my sandwich, eating it slowly as I read my book. I only had a few chapters left but when it was over, I opened it back to the middle, re-reading the part that had made me cry a few days before.

How was it that love always seemed to be painful? When I was a kid I always thought love was happy and fun. I didn't think it was going to be so much work and extremely painful. I think I'd always had a fantasy in my head when it came to love. I wasn't being realistic in any way and looking back on what I'd been through with Mike and Brandon; I think I was the one who caused a lot of issues. I should have known better than to be so trusting with someone I'd only met a few months before. I played Brandon's little game and flirted with him, leading him on. What did I really expect? He cheated on me with his girlfriend and then when I became his girlfriend I would expect him not to cheat on me? I was being a fool to think he was that into me.

I sighed loudly and readjusted, instantly having that feeling of someone watching me. I looked up and around me, not seeing anyone. I stood up and walked around, looking better behind bushed, trees and a small wall that was behind where I was laying. There was no one here.