Surface

Chapter 13 - Risk It All

He looked me dead in the eyes, his face glazed with guilt. "I think I did something bad."

I shot up and away from him, my fingers tangled in my hair. If he meant what I thought he meant then I no longer wanted to be here. I wanted to fly to another planet because this confession would be earth-shattering. "What the hell, Pete?!"

He took a breath and smoothened out his pants in an attempt to collect himself. Then, keeping his eyes focused on the water in the port, he tried to explain. "Remember when I told you about Zach and Tori? How I practically knew they were hooking up behind my back? "

I nodded, continuing to run my hands through my hair in a violent manner. Of course, I remembered. It was hard to forget. If he added more to that tragedy, I wasn't sure my heart could take it.

"I was really, really mad. The night before she-she turned up dead, I decided I was going to break up with her. It was keeping me up, the thought of her with him. But I was tired that night. I was so tired."

I sat on the railing of the bench to steady myself while the rain continued to fall. He was angry and exhausted, the perfect combination to do something regrettable.

"So I went to sleep and when I woke up that morning my shoes were covered in sand and my clothes were wet and salty. I wasn't in my bed- I was passed out on the living room floor." He slowly looked up at me with tears shimmering in his eyes. "I don't remember what happened that night."

"What do you mean you don't remember?!" I shouted. It felt like I was on the verge of a panic attack. Too much information. Too much doubt. Too much uncertainty. "Are you telling me you don't remember if you killed your girlfriend?!"

He ignored me, shaking his head in his hands. "That's why I went back to the beach - to see if I would remember what I was doing there last night and- and then there was a group of people pointing to something in the water and . . . oh God." He was trembling, his eyes playing back the event like a film projector.

My tears started to blend in with the rain. I thought I wanted to know the truth but I was wrong.

"Then I found her necklace in my pocket yesterday and it confirmed the worst." Sobs made it harder for him to speak. He stumbled on his words, lips quivering. "I don't know what to do. I didn't mean it. I never wanted to hurt her!"

There were a few minutes of no words. All there was to hear was the pounding of the rain and the occasional sobs and sniffles. I know he would never mean to hurt her but if he did . . .

I thought of something, a possible way out of all this. "Do you sleepwalk?"

He gave me a pointed look. "Does it matter? I still killed her."

"We don't know that! You don't remember what happened so you can't be sure! But knowing if you sleepwalk can be a defense if they try and lock you up for this-"

"If they try?! I hope they lock me up!" He huffed, clenched his fist, and then unclenched them. "Why are you still here, Ari? Why are you trying to help me?"

"Because I know you didn't kill her."

He bitterly chuckled. "You hope I didn't kill her."

I took the necklace from his hand and examined it, running a thumb over it subconsciously like I use to do with mines. Mine's had always had a dent in the chain. While biking it fell off of my neck and I ran over it. Luckily not much damage was done.

My finger found the very same dent.

I started to giggle while Pete looked at me like I was insane.