Spoken Word and Songs (2013-2018)

Anger and Bitterness

In my bantering I am bitter within myself. Angry life has happened the way it has. 

I never considered my actions as foolish.  In the mirror I stand with tears stained on my face. 

Within this thought I have hatred for myself, Hatred in my bitterness and in my anger. 
The noise goes off within my mind like a clangor. A commander of hatred and rage deep within me to fight or die. 

I deny myself. I deny my hatred and my rage. 
What will this solve? In the end I am alone within my mind. 

Holding a grudge never solves anything.  But yet I can't let go of what happened. 
I am maddened... I Imagined adulthood much differently. 

Dismally I was fooled.. Into thinking it was easy. 

Anger what are you gaining for me? 

The injustice you have caused within my soul. 
What is your goal? Why must I hang on to what has happend? Why can't I learn from it? 

Why must I stay within my rage never moving. Never budging as if I'm in the right. 

Was I naive? 

Have I deceived myself into thinking that how I perceive life is how others do as well? 

I concur..Anger.. You do me no good. 
Somehow I can't seem to let go. So much injustice within my life. 

Can I smash it all away? 

Can I smash my reflection and what I hate within myself, I am SCREAMING FOR HELP. 

But yet..I can't let anyone near me, for I fear the day they leave, and yet its only because of me that they do. 

I cleave onto my sleeve in tears, hatred of my life deep within. Hatred that I fail far to often and I only walk around blind with my eyes. 
I am traumatized.. Can I organize the paralyzing fear? Can I push the hatred and the rage within out? Where can I shout and scream? 

Anger and Bitterness you do me no good. Like Anxiety you only damage me.. 
I want to banish this baggage for good, when can I reach the happiness I crave within myself? 

Self love.. When will you arrive. I am tormented within my thoughts.. 

Why is change so difficult? I desperately wish to be other than what I am. 

Anger and Bitterness.. 

You only cultivate a child of rage within me, born of begrudging anger and self loathing bitterness. Can I abort you? Kill you.. before you become something I can not control? 

Can I unfold the unknown by letting go of the shadows within me? 

I suppose I could if I tried hard enough.. I wish to rip you from me with my bare fists. 

Violence never solves much.. But how can I have peace within myself from the events in my life. 

Id rather grit my teeth and hold onto it live my life in pain.. reluctant to change, But that never does one good. 

I can change for those that I love.. Even though I drag my feet. I desperately wish to be what I know I can be. 
Someone of patience and peace of mind.. But with you my dear old friends.. I can never accomplish my goal.