Spoken Word and Songs (2013-2018)

Stress

Stress

This is all to much I confess

I confess.. Stress this is a mess

I can't address all of this at once,

I am in utter distress...

I can not express all of this at once.

You feel like a whirlwind a hurricane..Raging in my mind.

I do not feel aligned with the peace of the Lord.

I feel as I am behind, declining, assigned to utter chaos.

I feel as if I am in utter betryal.

I wish to take a hiatus.

To go somewhere far away, spread my wings and fly.

To fly until my eyes are dry. Fly away into the blue sky.

Stress.. You do me no good.

I wish I could go back to my childhood.

I am longly looking for a break,

But alas, all I receive is a headache.

Heartache, and a backache.

I am awake at the crack of dawn.

I yawn as I am gone for the day.

Grinding, Grinding, Grinding away.

Mayday! Mayday! We are going down!

With a frown upon myself, I have a meltdown.

I am knocked down once more on this road to success.

All the while the voices of those around me never cease.

I just want some peace. To descrease the voices of those who negativily speak to me.

Please stop before you make me shriek!

Before you cause my knees to go weak.

Weak from lack of support.. Please stop your bickering..

Stress you do me no good..

I wish I could back to my childhood.

Awaiting to grow up..Little me.. You do not know of what you are wishing for.

Life is but a chore, sometimes a bore.

I am sure I am on the floor.. Crying.. Stress you are an added voice!

Depression, Anxiety, Insomia, My friends. The friends that never stop, never cease.

I swear, I am at war within myself. With fear alone to guide me.

The one voice that I need to hear is quiet. Quiet because I am not listening.

Lord! Please! Increase your volume!

Please take me out of this war room!

I want to be in bloom! Not utter gloom!

I am fuming, zooming at the speed of light never resting, never stopping, never..Breathing.

I am in constant dissarray,.. Please.. Give me a place to stay within my mind.

I lack the spine..

There is no sunshine in my skies.. For all I see is fear itself staring back at me.

I want to be free..

If only I could be something else..

But I am just a dumb thing.

Breathing waste of matter.

Just scatter me across the skies...

For that is how I feel..

I await my own demise in this aggervating.. life that agonizes me.. Day and night it is brutal.

Never ceasing, Sunrise appears at the wake of dawn and sit alone on the hills.. with eyes of red.

There is bloodshed in my head, I have misred myself and others around me.

I have said.. that I am dead, but out of the ashes I have risen again.

My strain is cleary seen upon my eyes, you can feel the pain in my veins. Split me open and see the stain that I make.

My world begins to quake, as I make for the emergency break.

So much urgency! So many things that need to be done..!

It has begun, this long run under the midnight sun.

I feel all of it weighs a metric ton upon my shoulders.

Ceaselessly I cry, the tears they stain my face.

Down my face they fall.

I mock the sun! The sun that burns down upon me! The stress it burns itself into me.

One by one my sanity, peace, and tranquilty leaves me.

Like a thief the relief is replaced like grief. I am in utter disbelief as my faith wanes, it grinds as the doubt comes within me.

My faith is grinded away as I grasp for a breath.

I pray until my jaw can no longer speak.

If stress had a smell, I would wreak of it.

I yell in my prison cell that I have made for myself, I dwell not in what I should.. Lord please forgive me of my stubbornness..

I am strung in nervousness.

Forgive me of my faults...

I wish I didn't default into doubt and faithlessness. 
Day in and day out it seems to be a constant struggle, Like a rainbow trout. I am stripped of my colors. The lure is tempting as I am hooked, with doubt, pain, anxiety, and strain. 

I want to abstain from this stress.. No longer be a mess. 

But like a tidal wave it crashes me in the breakers. Wave after wave I am pulled down under.

Gasping for breath and for something to hold onto. 

A hand reaches through the water and pulls me by my collar. 
It is the hand of the everlasting, never lacking, never falling, never changing Lord. 
The lord of the heavens heeds my call. The name above all names walks upon my storms. 

Teaching me as he sets me back on dry land. 

All of it was planned, my stress was never out of hand. 
I was never stranded. 
Now my mind has expanded. And my fears have been quelled. 
I am held in the palms of the most high. He shields me not letting me die. 

Not leaving me high and dry, when I am faithless. 
He carries me with patience through my stressful stubbornness. 

And my stress is no longer a mess that I must contain. 
But a blessing and a lesson from the father above.