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Namjoon let out a breath he had been holding in for quite some time without even noticing he had been holding it in. Sending a glance at the ticking clock on the other side of the room he had been locked in he put his head in his hands and rubbed his face as he felt tears welling up- he hated it here. He hated the pills they gave him and he hated the therapists he was assigned- no one here cared.
They just made it look like it.
He wasn't even really sure how long he had been in here anymore, there was no motivation to even keep track as the months flew by and the days dragged on. It was unusual for him- the thought being so contradicting for him that it made his head throb and his eyes burn from the back of the sockets- everything seemed so contradicting in here and it was hard. It was hard to keep track of anything really. Everything just seemed dull, nothing seemed to matter, except the books his mother would bring him every Sunday to last him for a little while, and that seemed to be the only escape he was allowed here.
Nothing else was allowed, no music, no drawing, nothing that he used to do. Even Hoseok wouldn't stop anymore- the one person that lit up his life to no extent didn't want to come and see him anymore, claiming on his very last visit that he hated seeing the younger male falling apart like this. It was hard for all of his family and friends though- none of them expected this kind of thing to happen. To Namjoon of all people as well. Nothing seemed to fit right in this situation, nothing felt real, not for Namjoon at least. And he knew none of it was real, at least that the one thing he cared about most was being ripped away from him with pills and a dixie cup of water three times a day.
Jimin didn't like it either, he and Namjoon hardly saw each other anymore and he missed the older male, he missed talking to him and making him smile, because contrary to what the doctors and his mother said, Jimin was the one thing helping him. He was the person that helped him sleep at 2am when he thought he'd never be able to fall asleep, he was there for every panic attack, he was the only one that understood Namjoon and was truly there to help him through absolutely anything at all. There wasn't anything Jimin couldn't help him with- excluding all of what's currently going on. He's been in here for going on 8 months, but if you'd ask him, he'd say an eternity. Because that's how it felt, he never kept track of time anymore; only one thing pulsating through his head every time he thought about checking the date and time, the one thing that always stopped him from moving forward.
May 1st, 2011 9:29pm
Everything revolved around that- the day he lost himself and the exact time he lost the thing holding together the small pieces that had shattered earlier that day. He and his boyfriend had been driving home from a birthday party of their friend's, everything crashing down- quite literally in a way.
The car wouldn't stop, he tried and tried, but the brakes wouldn't work no matter how hard he slammed his foot down on them.
