The Other Girl(BWWM)

Do I Need Him?

Did I really need him? I thought being mated to Justin would mean us being happy together. Together. Something that doesn't define us at all. With Evelyn and their baby on the way I don't feel like we are together. But that's what I wanted. For someone to do anything for me, to drop everything for me. Justin wasn't that.

I was pacing in the bedroom not knowing what expect outside. I said I didn't believe in rejection, but for some reason, it probably wouldn't be necessary. I didn't feel anything without him here in my arms. It wasn't rare. You didn't have to stay with your mate. I just wanted to. It was like falling out of love, at some point you just don't feel the spark anymore. The problem was, I still wanted to feel the spark, I wanted my mate to be Justin. At least, in the beginning.

Cautiously stepping outside the room and checking the hall, I tip toed my way downstairs. Not surprisingly, Evelyn and Justin were chatting at the kitchen counter. I ignored their presence and prepared oatmeal in the microwave. While waiting I could feel Justin glance at me several times. Didn't he know? Couldn't he feel it, or I guess, not feel it? There was no tug, no drive to be near each other. I looked up at him. Nothing. He knew. I could see it.

"Evelyn, can you let Brianna and I talk?"

Evelyn sighed heavily, but eventually did leave the kitchen.

"Did you know?", I asked. "Did you ever feel anything or was this one sided?"

Justin looked at me, yet it wasn't sad or angry. It was pity. He pitied me. He fucking pitied me.

"So you just went along with it! You played me, is that it? You were going to let me marry you?" I was angry. There were no more pathetic tears for me to shed, so now I was pissed.

"Have you met your mate, Justin?" No answer. "God dammit Justin, answer!"

"No.", he replied. He wouldn't look at me. He looked everywhere but at me.

"Justin..." His name softly escaped my lips. It wasn't a gasp or a cry out to him. It was letting him go. Getting him out my system. Even though I hated Evelyn, I bet he was playing her too.

"Brianna... I didn't mean to hurt you. You were so convinced and I needed an excuse to not be with Evelyn." I scoffed and rolled my eyes. Unbelievable! Was I naive? Was I stupid? I had always thought I was strong, independent. God, I hope I don't need him. At first I thought all this emotional trauma was what caused the bond to break. But it wasn't. We weren't mates and we never were. I was so convinced we were real, and he made it my reality. I was so, so stupid.

"I mean, you haven't found your mate and I haven't found mine. Brianna, we can still be together.", he gave me this awkward smile.

I had enough of Justin and his lies. His way of manipulating me, his friends, his family and for some reason, I pitied Evelyn.

"Do you think this is funny? I have wasted so much of my time driving myself crazy over you! This baby mama thing wasn't even any of my concern! I cried actual tears for you! Justin, the amount of shit you have put me through. I can't believe this." I didn't have any words to describe my outrage. 

"Brianna!" Not needing to hear more, I went upstairs, passed Justin's clothes that were still in the hall and put my stuff in the only two bags I had.

"Stupid Justin and his stupid face! Almost ruined my life..." I mumbled as I stuffed belongings into the bags.

~

Where was I going? I couldn't tell. I had left the house running to my car while Justin made a scene. Per usual, he chased me, calling my name like he usually does. I had stopped at a local diner to catch a lot breakfast. There I debated over my three options. Go back home and explain how I was a complete idiot to my parents. I said no to that one. Stay at a hotel which would be fine but also a waste of money. Or, I could stay with Andrea until I decided to face my parents. That seemed like the better solution.

I'm close enough with Andrea that I had the spare key to her house, so she wasn't all that surprised when I entered her room. She was busy playing who knows what video game. It was a while until she noticed me standing there with my two bags and my sour expression.

"Justin?"

I groaned, "Justin."

I threw myself onto her bed and had yet another rant session. Justin and I were pretty close,but Andrea was always there for me. Before Justin and I became "mates", she would listen to my long conversations about him. I feel bad because at this point they were pointless. Andrea sat there and listened the entire time quietly. That is until the point where I had to explain Justin's manipulative ways.

"Wait, you are telling me that he got one girl pregnant and then to get out of that he used you so he would have a mate." I could already see that Andrea was ready to fight someone.

"Yes! That means he knew Evelyn was pregnant. They probably had some sort of deal. Andrea, how could I be this stupid. Will I ever even find my mate? I mean, I feel like I have betrayed someone that I haven't even met."

"Brianna, you can't blame yourself for this. Stop telling yourself this is your fault and blame the person responsible. No one would have suspected Justin would do this and I'm not sure what got  into him, but this is all his fault. You aren't stupid, you just trusted someone that we all trusted as well." Andrea rubbed my back as I leaned my head against her shoulder.

"Andrea I'm, I'm scared. I really want someone to care for me, you know? I don't want to get hurt again though."

"Brianna, not everyone is going to be like him. Plus, maybe you weren't meant to meet them yet."

"Yeah. Yeah, you're right."

Andrea and I got settled and called Phoebe and Chloe. After explaining recent events, we decided that we needed a girl's night. We popped a gigantic bowl of popcorn and brought all the junk food we could find to Andrea's room. The whole day we just forgot about all the negativity. 

Sometime near midnight, when all of them were asleep, I kept thinking about Justin. I wasn't sure how this happened or why he did it. I couldn't even tell you if he was telling the truth about not knowing his mate. If he did, why would he hide her. If not, then when did he plan on tricking me? What about Evelyn? Would she be the "other girl" or would I be the "other girl"? Everything went by so fast, but now that I look back, what did I even like about Justin? Did Justin ever make me feel different? No, I couldn't tell you anything about Justin, other than us being friends for years. Or the fact that everyone told me we would be together.

 My only choice was to move on. To focus on me. And maybe, just maybe try to help Evelyn. I know, she was a bitch, but I can't have him use her like he used me. The poor girl was pregnant, its the least I could do. Gosh, this too crazy for one week, but I knew one thing for sure. Justin wasn't mine and I wasn't his. And I sure as hell, did not need him.