Faded (The Sequel To Colors)

Part 2

"U-uh, Cas? Are you awake?" Sam asked quietly, poking his head into my room. I frowned and sat up.

"What do you want, Winchester?"

Sam looked around behind him, then walked inside and closed the door behind him. "I want to make amends. It's been three years since you've rejoined us and a lot of things have changed, but one things should have stayed. You and Dean."

My head shot to Sam, I stared at him and furrowed my brows. "Me and... D-Dean?"

Sam nodded and sat down on the floor. He sighed and picked at the edge of the rug. "You two were perfect together, but now you two have given each other the cold shoulder."

"He does hate me..."

"He doesn't hate you, Cas. He's scared of you. You came back from the dead, after 10 years, and immediately started acting weirdly and getting all, I don't know, punkified? Like you're a different person. He's afraid that you don't love him anymore. And he's already lost almost everyone he loves, er, loved. He's afraid of losing you, so he's distancing himself from everyone. He's even starting to block me and Bobby out."

I rolled my eyes. "Yeah, sure. He's just become an ass. I've already been looking for apartments far away from you guys so I can live a normal life."

"You can't live a normal life."

"Why not?"

"Because I tried. And Bobby tried. And Dean tried. And here we are."

"And who says that I have to be failure number four? You all are human after all."

"Castiel-"

"Don't." I scowled and narrowed my eyes. "You aren't the boss of me."

"Castiel-"

"Ah-!"

"Let me finish!" Sam jumped to his feet and stared down at me. "You haven't even made an attempt to get along with Dean again! With me! Barely even with Bobby! You've concealed yourself behind your broken wings and have blocked us out! What happened to when you let people in?!"

"When I let people in, I would die for them. I'm loyal, like a damn dog. Then one time, I did. I died and that jackass refuses to look at me now!"

Sam closed his eyes and took a deep breath. He pulled his hands up to his face and sat down again. "I just... I miss what we used to be, what we had. You, me, and Dean. We were the best of friends and you two, I..."

He broke down in sobs, but I felt no sympathy. "You never even liked me and Dean being together. Dean ran off to Maine to see me and you tried to tear us apart and bring him back to Kansas. You pushed me around all the way to when we first met. Do you remember that?"

Sam looked up at me and nodded slowly, another tear rolling down his cheek. "I-I remember... And I'm sorry for it. I was a jerk."

"You pushed me and were a jerk just because you were clingy to your brother."

Sam frowned and stood up again, walking towards the door. "Fine. I tried to fix things, Cas. I really did. But you're just a monster now. An angel idiot."

I jumped to my feet. "Get out!" I screamed, my wings flying out to my sides and my hand pointing to the door. Sam stared in shock at my wings, which I usually kept hidden at this point. They were black and red and torn to shreds. It was horrifying.

"Y-your win-ngs-"

"Out!" I yelled again. I ran forward and pushed Sam out, then slammed the door. I leaned against it and slid to the floor. Tears started streaming down my face and I couldn't do anything to hold them back. I got up and grabbed a vase off a small table, I threw it at a wall and let out a roar as it shattered. I had no control over myself anymore. I threw things and broke things and screamed. It went on for hours, I barely had anything left to break at this point. I was taking fragments of objects and crushing them effortlessly in my hands. 

Finally, exhaustion pulled me back and I fell to my knees. My shoulders heaved with each breath I took and with every tear that rolled down my cheeks. I heard yelling outside. I was so damn tired of it! I flung open the door and ran out to the main room. Sam and Dean were arguing, Bobby was not in the room. Sam pushed Dean back and Dean threw a punch at Sam. They screamed, they attacked each other, they were acting like savage children.

"Stop it, you assholes!" I demanded, scaring them. Sam had fury in his eyes and he stomped off without a second thought. Dean just stood there, frozen. "Well look who decided to leave his room." I scowled and crossed my arms across my chest.

"Coming from you." He returned.

I smirked. "I stay in my room and do research. You sit around and drink yourself half to death, then run guns blazing in a haunted house."

"And you don't?"

"No. I'm a good hunter, unlike you."

"You're right, I'm not a good hunter. I'm the best." Dean smiled triumphantly. 

I softened for a moment. I missed his smiles. When he thought he won and would grin like an excited child. I felt another tear run down my cheek, then I lost control. I ran forward and grabbed his hair, pulling his face down and I connected our lips. God, I missed this feeling. If I dared to open my eyes, I'm sure I'd see sparks. He wrapped his arms around my waist and pulled me closer. I almost forgot that we were in the middle of a musty and messy bunker filled with books on every monster known to man. I almost forgot that it's been thirteen years since we've been like this. We parted and I stared into his eyes. The bright green had dulled an hardened. But they were still beautiful.

"I've missed you, Dean."

"I can say the same to you, Cas."