Save Me

Stigma

I've been hiding a secret for a long time. Do you want me to tell you? And I can not keep it longer, I can not keep repressing it inside me.

I could not say before and I do not know why, I was afraid, afraid that you would leave like everyone else did, although you can not leave but still I was afraid of losing you.

I'm hurt so I'm not going to take it anymore, now I cry for every person I hurt, I cry because I could not do anything

I have a stigma and I can not erase it Why do people look at me weird and walk away? I'm the same as everyone, I'm just damaged. The wound becomes deeper, irreversible as broken glass. My heart hurts more and more. At the time I did it I was sure that I would have to pay for my sins later and now I think I am doing it with this lifestyle that I have, although it is a lifestyle I do not think it is a life. Why does someone as fragile as you have to pay for my sins?

Stop crying and tell me something please. Say something to the self that hurt you, ask what you want. Why were you so cruel? Why you did that? Ask me what you want but please cut off this silence that is killing me. Sorry. What right do I have to tell you that? What right do I have even to be talking to you at this moment after what I did to you?

I try to hide it but I can not, try to remedy it and I could not either. Are you calling me a sinner? I guess I am, and I apologize for that. Sorry, sorry, sorry. What else could I say? Even if I try to hide it I can not erase it, so I cried, the only thing I can do is cry. Please forgive me and come dry my tears.

That light, please light up my crimes, please make them disappear, please forgive me.

The red liquid continues to drip all over my heart and body. Every day I feel that I will die because of this deep pain. Please judge me, punish me and forgive me after that. The only thing I want at this moment is to be forgiven and then to die.

It's weird, I know, talking to yourself, when people are getting out of it they start to do it, every time I'm further from reality, I'm getting more lost, more dead. I feel so empty, surviving more but not living.

"This stigma will never go away, they will always call me a sinner and I always will be."