Smother (Kellic)

Acceptance

"Are you going to invite him and his friends?" Jaime spoke up from behind me as I pulled my jacket on.

"Should I?" I asked him, not wanting to make the wrong move, as things have been more peaceful this week.

"I mean, Mike told you to" he stated, I turned to him as he buttoned his shirt up "I just think he wants you" he trailed off, I rolled my eyes when he looked away from me.

"He doesn't, Jaime. Anyone would be crazy for wanting me" I shrugged, petting my needy cat before grabbing the car keys. Jaime slipped his jacket on and shut the hallway light off.

"You got that right" he muttered. I know that I said it, but for some reason it hurt me when he agreed. I knew I was right anyways, I don't want to be that person. "Just invite them, I'll be there anyways" he shrugged as he walked out first.

I shouldn't have waited this long to invite them, but I was too nervous about if I should actually do it. I pulled out my phone as I followed Jaime out the door.

"Hey, Mike is having a party at his place and he wants to know if you'd like to come and bring your friends?" is what I texted him, and he didn't reply until Jaime and I were on the road, Jaime decided to drive us there and I'll drive us back of course.

"Sure thing!" he replied, and I could almost hear it. My longing for our friendship had grown considerably. I haven't spoken to him since I came home. I sent Kellin the adress and turned my attention towards the window.

I don't know why I'm so nervous about parties. I watched the world around us quickly pass by as the sun set on the town we belonged to. "It's been awhile hasn't it?" Jaime spoke up as he turned the radio down a bit.

"Huh?" I asked, snapping back into reality.

"Since we've gone to a party" he added with a smile.

"Oh, yeah" I smiled back at him and the two of us remined quiet until we pulled off on the road in front of Mike's house.

The afterglow lit the house in a warm pink color as people started to show up, In high school Mike always loved parties, and now that he has his own place with a few roommates he's back at it again, I suppose.

Jaime and I stepped into the cold breeze as we made our way up the few steps and into the house I've only visisted a few times. "Vic!" Mike greeted upon entry, handing a beer to Jaime almost immediately. "Did you invite Kellin and his friends?" he asked excitedly as I glanced around at the house. Several people were sitting around and drinking, but I could tell that the party hadn't even started yet.

"Yeah, yeah I did" I chuckled, feeling the anxiousness pull at my stomach. Why did I even come? I should just sit in the car until it's over so I can take Jaime home. Mike suddenly pat me on the back, and I couldn't help but nearly jump out of my skin. He gave me a weird look, but I could already feel my entire existence trembling and the party hadn't even started yet.

Why am I like this?

"I-uh" I started to attempt to say something, but I knew that in the end I wouldn't be able to. My chest hurt, everything did. For what reason?

I did the only thing I could, and I made my way to the back deck of the house, where only two people were sitting because it was cold, and I sat myself on the steps outside. I watched the pink sky dissolve into darkness.
"What's your deal?" questioned Jaime as he stepped down to stand in front of me, his facial expression was the one that says 'look, you're back to ruining everything for me.'

"I-I don't have one?" I stated in a small tone, hoping I didn't just ruin the good streak we had going.

"Bullshit" he remarked, rolling his eyes as he finished his beer and sat it down on the step with a hard gesture. "No one wants you here if you're going to act like this" he spat. I felt the words burrow into my skin and make a home in my head, I could feel them stinging as they traveled towards my heart. I felt them as they put pressure behind my eyes and filled my chest with weight.
I didn't reply as he walked past me on the steps and slammed the door behind him as he went inside, and I instantly held my head in my hands. God, I ruin everything.