Smother (Kellic)

Mourn

"Get your damn cat to shut up, will you?" Jaime raised his voice at me as I sat on the edge of the bed, shaken. Jaime is very late for work and him cussing and throwing things around wasn't a good way to wake up.

"She just wants to be pet, you know it scares her when you yell" I said, reaching out for Barbara, defending her more than I ever would defend myself.

"You should've never fucking brought her home" he spat as he angrily tied his tie around his neck.

"Look, I know you're late for work and I'm sorry but you don't need to take it out on the cat" I reasoned as she ran under the bed.

"Maybe if you didn't keep me up all fucking night with your fucking sleep talking- or crying, or whatever I would've gotten up on time!" He yelled, stepping towards me.
Am I doing that again?

"I'm s-sorry" I said as I stood up from my spot on the bed.

Jaime rolled his eyes at me as he bent down to put his shoes on "just go write your fucking stories all day and let me work my ass off for us" he spat as he finished and stood back up in front of me. I felt the guilt again.

I stay home all day and write while he goes out and works all day. I cheated on him.
I deserve this.

I stepped towards him. "I'm sorry, I'll get a job" I said, hoping to fix something.

"Fuck it" he said angrily.
I knew the peace wouldn't last.

"I will, I want to-"

"Just shut up!" he yelled, and with that I was taken off guard and sent backwards.
I tried not to cry out as my back collided with the end table beside my side of the bed, it knocked the breath out of me. I didn't stop myself from crying anymore when I heard Jaime walk down the hall and slam the front door behind him.

I let my body shake with sobs I never wanted him to see.

God, I'm a fuck up.

***

Maybe Kellin doesn't remember the kiss.
Would he invite me to get coffee if he did?
He wouldn't have even kissed me if he was sober, I'm sure of it.

I fumbled with my hands anxiously as I walked up to the cute coffee shop on the corner. I shouldn't be doing this, but I can't just blow him off, can I?

That is the bad part of my brain talking, the part that needed to kiss him.

When I walked in, I saw Kellin immediately and as I approached him his eyes landed on me, but he was quick to let them fall again. I took the seat across from him and smiled at him gently, stifiling a wince as my back hit the chair.

"Hey" he said gently, smiling warmly in my direction.

"Hello" I replied, returning the smile. Maybe he doesn't remember after all.

"I'm sorry about what happened at the party" he said, looking down.

I felt it get harder to breathe.
"With Matty.. I was just a drunk mess" he chuckled, and I felt myself relax a bit. He was talking about Matty, not the kiss.

"Don't be sorry" I replied, thoughtfully "I get it" I assured him.

He looked up at me and I could tell that he appreciated it.

"Thanks" he said gently "uh, what do you want? I'll order" he said, looking over at the chalkboard that listed the coffees and pastries that were avalible.

"Oh, I don't really want anything, coffee makes me jittery" I explained, and Kellin gave me a small smile.

"Then why did you agree to go out for coffee?" he chuckled.