Chances of That

Soooooo Messed Up!

I carried on marching up to him and reached out to kiss him when he, very unexpectedly, held me back.

"What are you doing?" Matt asked me, slurring his words so much, they were quite hard to make out.

"It's ok Matty, I forgive you for being with the girl upstairs. That kiss was so full of love and passion," I sigh, "I can't do anything but forgive you!"

Matt looked at me, very confused and then retorted, "I am, admittedly, very, very drunk, but I think I'd remember if I kissed you. Especially if it was truly" He put his fingers into quotation marks, "Full of passion."

I stayed still looking in Matt's eyes, and then I realised, it couldn't have been Matt. It couldn't have been because he was standing at the bottom of the stairs, suggesting he'd only just walked down them and the person that had kissed me must've heard my rather embarrassing question.

"Oh." I say. My shoulders slump down and I stare at the floor awkwardly.

"But I'll kiss you now if you want!" He says and takes a step forward and leans in. But it's me this time that puts my hands out to prevent a kiss.

"Sorry Matty. I'm not in the mood now."

He looks slightly disappointed, but turns back around and joins in shouting with his mates almost instantly.

I turn around and survey the room.

I'm drunk, right? So I should be enjoying the vibrant atmosphere, the dirty dancing, the attention from the boys looking at me across the room, the pounding music, right?

Wrong.

I was drunk, yes, but I absolutely was not enjoying the party. I was seeing the party clearly for what it was, smokey atmosphere, unsynchronised grinding, drunken glances from boys unable to control their spit from dribbling out of their mouth and blaring music that was giving me a headache!

This party was no fun because, let's face it, Peter wasn't here. Plus the fact that Peter, has a girlfriend.

Why couldn't he be single? Why couldn't it be easy for once?

No drama.

Just the way it always was with me and Peter as children.

We were best friends and sure I'd get jealous if he made a new friend and probably try to drive them away, but a GIRLFRIEND? Surely i'm more than capable of convincing him that she's no good for him? Even if she is.

And that's when I realised.

I'd made my decision without my coin.

I didn't want Matt.

I sure as hell didn't want Josh.

I wanted Peter. 

Peter.

So I ran full pelt out of that front door and didn't stop until I was outside Peter Harrison's house.