Story of Ann

f i v e

It's been about two weeks, my grandma was let out of the hospital and was living with us.

Grandma walked into my room and we talked for a while.

"How about we go shopping so they can figure everything out," I smile. She always knew what to do to bring me up. We went to the one we always went to. It was weird not meeting Brandon there, but I'm glad I figured out who my father even was.

"Look at this Grandma," I said looking at a pretty blue, green and yellow bedspread.

"I love the color yellow," my Grandma said. "It's a bright and happy color,"

I smile.

"And it reminds me of you," she added.

"Why?" I asked.

"because even when the day is rainy it can shine, just like when your life is full of bad you shine to make everyone happy,"

I smiled again and hugged her. I pulled away and signed "thank you," My Grandma slowly disappeared and I woke up on my uncomfortable bed.

"Dad?" I yelled. He didn't come.

"Brandon!" I yell again.

He came running in with mom behind him.

"What's the matter? Are you okay?"

"Can we go to the store?" My mother looked at me confused.

"Please?" He understood. He picked me up and put me in the car.

We left to go to the store. It was about 5:00 in the morning. I felt really bad, but I needed to see something.

***

When we got there I walked in and stopped at where he normally would be greeting Grandma and I as we walked in.

"Grandma would always take me here after school," I said. "You would stand there to greet us," I smiled at the memory. I then walked over the the bedspread.

"Grandma told me I was like the color yellow," my father looked at me.

"She said even though bad things are in my life, I can always brighten peoples days and make everyone happy,"

I touched the bedspread.

"Grandma and I always came to see this one, it was our favorite," I said looking at it.

My father took it and brought it to the cash register. He bought it.

"You didn't have to do that. I was just trying to remember her," I explained.

"Well now you can remember her every time you wake up," he responded. I smiled and hugged him. When we went back home he helped me set it up. We sat on it together as we read the book Grandma always read to me.

My mother was standing in the doorway watching us.

"Brandon," she said. He looked up.

"I think you should keep Ann," she suggested.

"You were right though, Grace, I'm not ready for a child, but I'll come by everyday to see her," he replied.

He thought I wouldn't be able to know what they were talking about.

"What?" I yelled, "I'm 10 years old and you want me to stay with her?" I said pointing to my mother.

"You'll be fine Jessica,"

"And that's another thing. You both call me different names! My name is either Jessica like it says on my birth certificate or Ann like I've lived with my entire life. Which one is it?"

"Jessica, I'm sorry, I don't have enough room in my apartment for you to stay in, at least here you'll have your own room,"

"I don't care about my own room, I care about being with a parent that actually loves me,"

"She loves you Jessica, she just wanted to keep you safe."

"Why are you taking her side now?"

"It doesn't matter, what matters is you'll still see us both everyday," I look down so I don't have to watch him sign anymore. My mother is probably really confused as to what we were talking about, but I don't really care at the moment.

***

I look up at my mother as she says "Brandon maybe you should go,"

My fathers head goes down and they walk out together.

***

On Saturday I wait for my father to come, but he never showed up.

***

Sunday. He is still not here.

***

Monday. Nothing

***

Tuesday. He still didn't show up.

***

Wednesday. I see a shadow at the door. I look out the window to see my father. Grace. Please just let me see her. It's been five days already.

My mother comes up behind me and pulls me away from the door.

"He came to say goodbye Ann,"

"What no he can't,"

My mother opens the door. There is a long pause before my father walked into our house.

"Why?" I asked.

"I have to go Jessica, I'm moving,"

"Where to? I'll come with you,"

"I'm getting a new job Jessica. I'll be moving around a lot. I don't want to put you through that, I'm sorry, but I have to leave soon. My flight leaves in an hour." I feel a tear coming down my cheek.

"I'll miss you dad,"

"I know honey. I'm always one phone call away," I gave my father a big hug. We stayed there for a while. He looked at his watch. He gave me a slip of paper with his phone number on it. I closed my eyes and held it to my chest. When I opened my eyes he was gone.