Alex Danvers | Depression

Chapter 6 - Alex...

It has been about a week now, whenever Alex would feel in pain, Maggie and Kara were always there for her trying to make her feel loved and valued. But none of it was really helping, she still felt severely depressed and in pain. Because even when she wasn't crying, she still felt so sad.

After seeing a big change in behavior, J'hon insisted that Alex takes a couple of days off to rest.

———Present Day 6:40 pm

Alex sits at home and stares into nothingness, tears begin to stream down her cheeks.

God, I can't take this anymore.. I can't do it anymore... Alex thought to herself, she slowly got up from the couch and went to her bed and opened the jour next to it and stared at what was inside for about 5 seconds. A gun. She carefully grabbed it and went to the bathroom and closed the door forgetting to lock it.

She loaded the gun and took a deep breath. She slowly pointed the gun to her head. Her eyes began to fill with tears and she began to cry. She placed her finger by the trigger and slowly started to apply pressure to it.

Just before the trigger could pull back all the way, she was interrupted by Maggie opening the door and bolting at her and pulling the gun away from her as quick as possible. "Alex no!" Maggie said as she toppled over her. Alex hit the ground hard and started crying.

Maggie quickly unload the gun and put it in her back pocket, she looked over at Alex to check if she was alright.

"Hey hey, hey your Alright I've got you..." Maggie said softly trying to calm her, she wrapped her arms around her and took a deep breath, god.. I almost lost her..
Maggie thought to herself.

Maggie just held her. They were both sitting on the bathroom floor. Alex was sobbing so harshly and loud. Maggie's heart broke at the sight of seeing Alex in so much pain. She just wanted her to be happy. To be okay.

"Alex I love you so so much. I love you, okay? I love you." Alex just held on to Maggie's arms that were wrapped around her front. Maggie had her back against the wall and Alex was laying on her.

Alex couldn't stop crying it felt like she would never stop. She didn't even calm down a little. She was hurting so much. She wanted it to end so badly. It constantly felt like there was this hole in her stomach that couldn't be filled. Cutting used to solve it before but it's only gotten worse and cutting doesn't cover it.

She felt so alone and like no one understood. Even though people said they did it didn't feel real. She felt like she was drowning, like she was trying to swim up but she kept getting pulled down. Talking about it was terrifying. It just made her feel worse. She kept sobbing.... and sobbing.... and sobbing.

———Later that night 9:30 pm
Alex is sound asleep with Maggie by her side just gazing at the ceiling. There's a knock on the door, Maggie carefully gets up trying not to wake Alex. She walks over and opens the door.

"Hey come on in."

Kara walks in and takes a seat on the kitchen stools. "Hey you called and sounded really upset what's going on?" Kara asked.

"Kara... Alex um... tried to.. Kill herself.." Maggie whispered making sure to stay quiet so they wouldn't wake Alex.

"Oh my gosh.." Kara began to get emotional. "How?"

"She had a gun to her head.." Maggie answered  "I think you should stay the night."