~Y/N's POV~
I hate silence. Not the calming kind, but tranquil, but the bad kind.
I sat at the table and picked at my food. My mom, me, and Evan, sat in silence.
"So Y/N. Who was that boy?" My mother asked me. I looked up at her. She was still in her scrubs, an eggshell blue shade, that compliment her blonde hair.
"My friend." I said quickly. Evan laughed, my head snapped to his direction, He quickly covered his mouth. "Yes, Ev?" He shook his head.
"Well- you just- I- um. You seem like you like him more than a friend." Evan didn't look up. Mom raised an eyebrow at me, I scoffed.
"Wa- Wa! Connor Murphy Yea right!" I stuffed food in my mouth. "Yea, right..." I mumbled.
He was just a friend! A very sweet, attractive, friend....
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~Connor's POV~
"FUCK YOU!" Zoe yelled at me. "GO TO HELL, YOU DICK!" She screamed.
We got into a fight because I was just smoking some pot minding my own business and she fucking comes in. So she starts yelling and I yell back. Next thing you know I blew smoke in her face and she fucking freaks. Like what the fuck!?
'What would Y/N say?' I asked myself. 'Breathe.' I took a deep breath and looked at Zoe.
"Fuck off." I waved curtly and close the door in her face. I start to scratch at my wrists, my cuts have been really itchy, lately. Even the old ones.
I didn't go to dinner with Y/N because I knew if she saw the real, pussy, me, she would think I'm insane.
Or...
Maybe not. Maybe she would like me for me. And we all live happily-fucking-after, bitches. I laughed at the thought of that. A world we're everything's Okay! Yea right. If you were happy all the time you'd be a fucking game show host.
I stared out the window, the stars were scattered across the sky. They splayed beautiful on the dark sky. I pulled my legs into my chest and just sat there. Letting thoughts take me away. Would the world be better if I just disappeared?
No. Because there's Y/N,and all my hope is pinned on Y/N. Who I basically don't know, and who doesn't really know me.
Y/N was... different, she didn't think i was scary or whatever the fuck. She was also fucking beautiful. Not the Lust kind but the beautiful heart and everything kind. I'm not one to share my feelings and all that shit but... she made me feel wanted, and I love- no. Well- Yea- n- And I love her for that. She made me feel like someone fucking cares. No one made me feel that way.
But maybe no one, really, cared. Maybe it was just an act. But, who would?
I ran my hands through my hair, a tic I didn't know I had, and laid on my bed. Thoughts flooded my brain. I forget the world. Thank fucking god. The world sucked, I sucked, life sucked. But what the fuck are you gonna do about it? Amirite?
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~Y/N's POV~
I laid in bed thinking. My hair sprawled around me. I thought about Connor, sometimes he felt like my best friend, others he felt... cold. He was different... he was beautiful too. For some reason I was determined to help that boy, maybe because I saw the light in him, maybe he reminded me of the old me.
But there was something that drew me in. Maybe I'm just trying to do the best for a kid who's lost control. I just wanted to help him. For some strange reason. He was like my light, even though he had none, he was my light.
There was little things about him, how his hair laid perfectly in front of one eye, how his eyes were kind unlike him demeanor, the way he lightly laughed so... subtle and... perfect and... real. His rare smile, that was more like a smirk, only a few teeth would show. His chipped nails, and the way he spoke. The way he was just a boy who wanted help, who needed help.
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Hey guys! Hope you liked this chapter! It was a bit short... but... yea. That's literally all I have to say. (Oh and sorry if it sucked.) Bye,
Ela~
YOU ARE READING
Tall Insomniacs.- (Connor Murphy X reader)
FanfictionWARNINGS: mental heath issues, cussing.