Tall Insomniacs.- (Connor Murphy X reader)

Chapter 15.

~Alana's POV~

--There is a girl In the back of my class, Who I swear I've never seen Do anything but laugh. She's (Small/medium/tall), she's smart, Beautiful, and strong. when someone's down She tries to fix what is wrong. How does someone so perfect, feel so insecure? how does someone so loving use to hate her own guts? Her name is Y/N Hansen. I hear them whisper about her in class, how she had a dark time, it's so hard to believe, she's just so perfect. I never wanted her to feel... forgotten, yet she did.

There is a girl in the back of my class, who smiles, light up the world. Who wanted to die, but pushed through, who practically raised her brother. but, she's still kind, and calm. In 3rd grade i saw Zoe on the swings with a girl who had (H/L) (H/C) hair, piercing (E/C) eyes, she introduced me, said to me 'my name is (Y/N). Let's be good friends.' For a little bit, she was mine, just for a little. When she was mine I loved the way her hair was scented like peaches, and the way her nails were varnished in a silver metallic color. then, one day, she grew up. I didn't know her anymore. she had to grow up. I didn't. She didn't know me anymore. Yesterday I almost took my last breath, on a street a few blocks away from my home. I stood in the street, sobbing like a child until she came around. When she saw me, she didn't know me. At first, she didn't seem like she cared, but she did. She just cared for someone she didn't know, me. And that's okay. As long as she's happy, she doesn't have to know me.

There is a girl in the back of my class, who makes me smile when she laughs. The boy tells her a joke, that one with the dog, all she does is laugh, not batting her eyes. How does someone so perfect, feel so insecure? I loved her, she never really returned the feeling, so I gave up. I'll never be satisfied anyway.

There is a girl in the back of my class, who I fell in love with. Yet she's never love me back. I've never thought, I would ever fall for someone... like her. The way I see Connor look at her, so helpless, he loved her, more then I could. I knew she was never going to be mine. That's okay. As long as the girl in the back of the class is happy. As long as she's happy. I'm happy. as long as she's happy.--

I'm in love with a girl, who'll never love me back. And that's okay... as long as she's happy, I'm happy.

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~Y/N's POV~

Connor and I, sat on the grass, laughing and joking. he ran his hands through his, dark locks. My eyes were fixed on his profile, the way everything was so perfect. His smile, the way his nose is shaped, his lashes, the way he licked his dry lips every so often. everything. Connor just stared out at the city, so far, yet so close. So big, and we were so small.

"hey, Hansen, Why did the chicken hide in the closet?" Connor had a devilish smirk on his face. I thought for a bit, then finally shook my head. He bit his blush shaded lip to contain his laughter.

"Why?" he leaned into me, his lips touching my ear as my face flushed and my heart skipped a beat. Finally, in a husky, chocolaty, voice, he whispered...

"Because he's Gay." He burst out into fits of giggles like a thirteen-year-old girl, throwing his head back as he did so. "get it?" he wiped his eyes and looked at me. I shook my head, disapprovingly.

"You suck. Thanks for making me question your sexuality..." I smiled. He was happier. And that's all that matters to me.

Resting my head on his lap I looked up at the lavender sky. there were barely any clouds. it was perfect. "Con, look at the sky. Perfect." He looked down at me, then up to the sky.

"Would you look at That shit... That's the first purple sky of the year." He squinted at the pretty sky. His hands ran through my locks, pushing tufts behind my ears with his strong hands. He tilted his head and stared at me, looking me up and down as if I was some kind of art piece. He blinked every so often but still studied me, every inch, every curve. Connor rubbed my cheek gently, with his thumb. I blushed at his actions. "Y'know my parents love you. They think your some kind of perfect girl." He picked at the grass, leaning back on his strong hands. "They wanna pay for your college." He stopped picking at the grass and looked at Me.

"Y-Yea, I know. That's why they called me in today." He nodded.

Connor Murphy. The 'school shooter.' Was actually a sweet kid. He was just broken. And needed help. I wanted to help him. Because of that what you do when you love someone. My mom told me When you love a someone with arms littered with cuts and burns, with anger issues, with issues, with self-hatred. you love them more than anything, so they can know someone cares. That that Someone will never let go, no matter what they say or yell at them. They'll never let go.

"Connor, I lo-" Before I could finish I was interrupted by Jared, who had Pulled into the Murphy's driveway, literally out of nowhere. Thanks, Kleinman. Great timing.

"YO, HANSEN'S. GET IN LOSERS WERE GOING SHOPPING." He yelled, standing on the seat of his lime green convertible. I rolled my eyes as Evan ran over to him, embracing him in a kiss, and lightly squeezing his ass. My eyes made there way over to Connor, who looked Royal pissed off. He shoved me off lightly and started to get up.

"What the FUCK is he doing here?" He seethed, walking toward Jared. Trying to catch up with Connor, I Speed walked the way I front of him.

"Con, in all honesty, I have no Idea." Connor rolled his eyes and continued walking.

"don't 'Con' me, Y/N.- I don't care why he's here just get him the Fuck out of my house!" Connor Snapped.

no matter what they say or yell at them. They'll never let go.

I took a deep breath, Connor could flip out on me, but I'd wouldn't leave him, I couldn't, I stormed over to Jared. "Jared!" I yelled. "Why are you here? You can't just come here quoting mean girls without an F-Ing explanation!" He rested his arm on his chest in mock offense.

"I'm truly hurt!" He whined. "Because, I'm taking you-" he pointed to me. "And Babe-" Evan. "To the House party near the Sawyer's. It might end with a threesome, and if I'm being an honest friend... I'm okay with that." He earned a scoff from me in his ridiculous explanation.

"I never agreed to a party..." I crossed my arms. He just pushed his glasses up and laughed. Resting his hands on his hips.

"Well, your going! It's gonna be big fun!" He grabbed Evan's hand and kissed him gently. "Right, Babe?"

"I- I, uh, I'm not going if, um, Y/N isn't," Evan stated strongly. "I, um, love you and all but I don't feel good without Y/N." His voice lost the power and strength, from before.

"I'm not going to make you do anything, that might make you uncomfortable..." Jared brushed the hair out of his face and I gagged. He shot me a glare and then spoke up. "So, Y/N, CAN YOU PLEASE GET IN THE CAR?" He said in an exasperated tone.

"Fine! Since you want me to go so much!" I opened his door and climbed in quickly. "Are you HAPPY?" I laughed voice, dripping with sarcasm. He sighed of relief and got into the lime shaded car.

"CONNOR!" I shouted to get his full attention. "GET YOUR PERFECT ASS IN HERE..." then I added. "PLEASE?" Shooting him a cheesy grin.

He grumbled, then walked over to me. His boots clacking at every step. "I'm not going with that thing—" he gestured to Jared.

"Love you too, Connor!" Jared blew him an exaggerated kiss. He kissed my held hand for a bit. "Just— be careful." Connor pleaded. I jumped on him, and gave him a large hug, making him stumble back as I did so.

"I'll chug a bottle a whiskey for you."

"Please don't."

"Suit yourself." I laughed smiling at him. He looked at me for a few seconds, staring intently into my eyes, and then walking away. "SEE YOU TOMORROW," I yelled after him. He looked back and gave me some kind of messed up salute.

Jared pulled away, not long after he said to me and Evan:

"Get ready, cause this is probably the biggest party you've ever been to." He smirked.

Oh lord help me, Jesus.

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I JUST WANT MY BB ALANA TO BE LOVED. SHE LOVED Y/N MORE THAN ANYONE AND MY HEART. It's broken. Welp get ready for some 'big fun' next chapter. See what I did there? Anyway, this was a pretty sweet chapter and Jared was— tolerable. Well, bye for now,

Sincerely,

Me.