We've Made It This Far Kid

Chapter 1

Josh's POV

*Trigger Warning*

I felt his nails digging into my wrist. I tried to pull my hand away but he only tightened his grip. He looked down at me with disgust in his eyes. I looked away and he slapped me across the face again. I felt hot tears running down my cheeks.

"Stupid faggot. What did I ever do to get a fag as my kid?" My father asked me.

He threw my arm away and left. Left me curled in a ball on the hallway floor, crying. I heard a jingle of car keys.

"Look what you're making me do. I'm going out to drink because of you. You stupid fucking waste of space. I fucking hate you." He told me bitterly.

He made sure to kick me on the way out.

The door slammed closed and locked. I sat there in the hallway. Sobbing, clutching my knees to my chest.

I couldn't take it anymore. I couldn't take the constant abuse.

I stood up shakily and looked at my bruised wrist. My cheek burned where he slapped me.

I dragged myself upstairs and into my bathroom. I got my razor blade from under my sink and put it to my wrist. I hadn't cut in months.

I pushed it into my skin and dragged it across. It felt so nice. It felt so nice to feel the sting of the metal breaking my flesh. I cut all the way up to my elbow, then back down. I filled in all the spots I missed on the way up, each one deeper than the last. Blood was covering my arm, some of it dripped into the sink below. I took my jeans off and started to cut my thigh.

I deserved this. I was a waste. My father said it himself. I made him this way. I'm the one that is bisexual.

I cut all along both of my thighs and up my stomach until I reached my ribs. I ran my fingers over my ribs lightly. Each one clearly defined against my skin. They never seemed to stick out as much as I would like them too.

I pulled my jeans back on, ignoring the blood from the cuts. I put my shirt back on too. I looked at my face in the mirror. My eyes looked too sunken in and the bags under my eyes too dark compared to my pale skin. My lips seemed too bright compared to the dullness of my eyes. The light behind them was gone. I decided something. A big something.

I left the bathroom and went into my room. Everything was oddly quiet. I picked up my school bag and emptied it. I wouldn't need it anymore after this. I pulled a hoodie on and picked the bag up. I left my room and went back into the bathroom. I opened the medicine cabinet and took out my fathers sleeping pills. He just got it refilled. I put it in the bag then went downstairs. I made my way into the kitchen and opened the freezer. I took out the bottle of vodka and put that in my bag too. I zipped the bag and put it on my back. I put my shoes on and left the house. I walked out of my neighbourhood. I walked all the way out of my shitty ass town too.

I walked to the bridge just outside of town. There wasn't any traffic. It was a bit late now. I walked up to the crest and leaned on the railing, looking over the water below.

I took a deep breath and closed my eyes. Nothing was worth it anymore.

I shrugged my school bag off and set it on the ground. I took out the bottle of vodka and opened it. It was almost full and it was huge. I would certainly die if I drank it all. I wouldn't even need the pills. I put it to my lips and drank some. It was horrible of course. Who in their right mind drinks straight up vodka, even if it's grapefruit. Lucky for me, I wasn't in my right mind. I forced down half the bottle, which is a very large amount. I felt unbelievably sick. I sat down as everything started to spin and distort. I put the vodka back in my bag. My hands were shaking like crazy. I laid my head against the cool railing behind me and closed my eyes. I opened them back up and pulled the pill bottle out. I sat there looking at it in my hand, to dizzy to do anything.

"Hey." A voice called to me.

I looked up. Someone was walking towards me.

I quickly tried to open the pill bottle. I couldn't do it. I shoved it back in my bag. I stumbled up, holding onto the railing for support. More like I was leaning on it like it was the only thing keeping me upright, and it was.

"Are you okay?" He was getting closer now.

He looked to be my age. I pushed off the railing and took a few swaying steps before I collapsed in the middle of the road. I was extremely tired. My eyes fluttered shut.

"Oh gosh. Oh no." I felt my head get lifted up and sat down someplace soft.

I then felt my sleeve get pulled up and heard a sharp intake of air. I felt fingers lightly press down on my vein. He was checking for a pulse. I don't think he could find one because of all the cuts because he moved his fingers to my neck. I passed out then to the sound of him cussing desperately.