Mis(s)understood

2,970th Day

It was 11 at night, and being hungry was an understatement.

I looked around my surroundings, hoping I wouldn’t catch any lookers from dead-beat horny men. I remember my mother explaining to me when I was younger that men are only nuisances and that I was the biggest mistake she could’ve done with a boy. The random, quick flashbacks I’ve always experienced are more than devastating to re-live.

I went through my pack trying to find any old food wrappers that might have crumbs in them, finding my old comb along the search. I took the small comb in my hands and ran my fingers along the bristles. I closed my eyes and took myself back to being a little girl, and slowly put the comb on the side of my hair, running it through my greasy, nappy, dark brown hair. Suddenly emotions ran through my body and a single tear drop escaped my left eye.

No. I will not let myself become weak. I am strong. I am not afraid.

The sounds of racing cars, subtle chatter, and air condition units filled my ears.

“Aye chicka”.

I turned my head to the left and saw a shadow emerging from the smog. It was a young boy wearing all black and a bandana over his mouth.

Ignore him. Like mother.

“Aye muchacha, you comprehendo what I say?”

Keep your head low.

I could feel his breath on my forehead as he leaned down. I swallowed slowly,

“I don’t have no money for ya. I’m no good”.

“Nah, you fine. Tu perfecta. All I need is you”.

Having the courage, I looked up into his eyes, “Screw you”.

He gripped my arm quickly, “Don’t fuck with me. Chu gonna regret it”.

Being a seventeen year old and homeless for eight years, I’ve learned a few things, “You wanna get my STD? Go ahead. Push me on the ground and take me.”

He threw my arm back at me and jumped up in surprise, “Ew, you a fucking slut. You young hoe ain’t gonna get no Carlos,” the man spat by my feet and walked in the other direction.

I sighed in relief and smirked, that line works like a charm.

With my stomach growling, I put my needs behind me and leaned on the brick wall beside me, closing my eyes for the night and once again settling into another rough area.

—

When you wake up, and you realize that you’re still alive, you know that God has another plan for you.

I looked at the already busy street in front of me, stood up, and grabbed my pack. Before walking with the crowd, I wrapped my hair in a bun and put on my hoodie. It’s better to look like a dude than get grabbed on the street.

I’ve lived a solitary life for a while. My 2,970th day out here added on to the list. People call this place a stable world, but all I see are heartaches, pains, and insanity.