Quotes For Healing Broken Hearts [Continuing]

6

I wish I could say you get used to losing people you love. I never did. I don't want to. It tears a hole through me whenever someone I love leaves, no matter what the circumstances. No matter what, I don't want it to "not matter". I don't want it to be something that just passes. My scars are a testament to the love and the relationship I had for and with that person. If the scar is deep, so was the love. Scars are a testament to life. Scars are a testament that I can love deeply and live deeply. I can be cut --or even gouged-- but still know that I can heal and continue to live, continue to love. The scar tissue is stronger than the flesh ever was. Scars are a testament to life. Scars are only ugly to people who can't see.

As for grief, I find it comes in waves. When the ship is first wrecked, you're drowning with wreckage all around you. Everything floating around you reminds you of the beauty and the masterpiece the ship that was, and is no more. For some time --what feels like a long time-- you just float. You find some piece of the wreckage and you hang on for awhile. It could be a physical thing, maybe it's a happy memory, or a photograph, maybe it's a person who is also floating.

For awhile, all you can do is float, stay alive.
In the beginning, the waves that come and hit you are 100 feet tall. The waves crash over you without mercy. They come 10 seconds apart and don't even let you catch your breath. All that you can do is hang on and float. After awhile, maybe weeks, maybe months, you'll find that the waves are still 100 feet tall. Something is different this time; the waves come further apart. When they come, they still crash all over you and wipe you out, but in between, you can catch your breathe... In between, you can function. You never know what's going to trigger the grief. It could be a song, a picture, a street intersection, or the smell of a warm cup of coffee. It can be anything and the waves come crashing down again, but inbetween them, there is life.

Somewhere down the line, and it's different for everyone, you find that the waves are only 80 feet or 50 feet tall. While they still seem to come, they come further apart. You can see them coming: a birthday, anniversary, or trip to a certain place. You can see it coming, and for the most part, you prepare yourself. When it washes over you, you know that somehow, you will make it out the other side. Maybe you'll be soaking wet, sputtering, still hanging on to some tiny piece of wreckage but you'll still come out.

Take it from someone who has mourned the lost of so many people. The waves never stop coming, and somehow you don't really want them to. You learn that you survived them. Other waves will come and you'll survive them too. If you're lucky, you'll have lots of scars from lots of loves. You'll have lots of scars from lots of shipwrecks.

-N