Letter April 30

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Dear Justin,

I don't understand how you've moved on so quickly. I don't understand how you could just give up on me. I don't understand how you no longer love me.

What bewilders me more than you is the propensity of human beings to love things and people who hurt us. Why do we crave the things we can't have more than what we already have? It's almost as if humans like being hurt.

In some ways, all humans are drug addicts.
Drug addicts probably know what they use will kill them. They know it's destroying and tearing them apart, but that doesn't stop them from using it.
I'm that manner, we torture ourselves, even kill ourselves slowly, with our addiction to people.

The nature of it all is quite fascinating though, because the very things and people that kill us are the same ones that have made us feel alive and wanted.

We know that we risk getting our hearts broken if we love someone. We know that, but we dismiss it and just take the leap.

And in the end, our leap never lands us where we want it to.
Often times, we miss our landing and land somewhere completely different.
Sometimes, we crash down so hard, everything just falls apart.

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