Carlisle's Diary

Surprise

Dear Diary: June 10, 2013

I think it was very brave of Michelle to come to us with her secret. I can understand how hard it must have been to keep it from us. Not everyone is open minded, and there are plenty of ignorant people out there who just like to hate for the hell of hating. Some humans remind me of the Volturi. They wanted to punish and exact pain and harm on people for their own entertainment and pleasure. It's quite sickening.

But we're not like that. We treat everyone equally. We were told by Michelle's parents that Kim may move up here permanently so she can be closer to Michelle. That and the fact that New Hampshire is one of the few states where it's legal for gay couples to marry—if that is to ever happen between them, of course. I'm sure Alice would get a serious kick out of planning that wedding. Hell, what wedding does she not get a kick out of planning?

Moving on. Our house is a lot more full than it usually is. The Denali clan is visiting. We do these trips back and forth to each other a few times each year. Only Carmen and Eleazer weren't with us as they had been invited to the Amazon rainforest by Zafrina and Senna. I don't know what they were doing down there, but they will tell us at some point. So it's only Kate, Garrett, and Tanya at our house. Kate and Tanya are pretty used to the wolves by now, and Tanya always has a great time teasing Seth. It makes Leah very happy because now Seth is getting a taste of his own medicine with the practical jokes, and she's getting a reprieve.

It turned out that this visit was more than a social visit for them. Tanya had been feeling a little out of it and wanted to speak to me in person, as well as in private, about it. So one particular day when everyone was hunting, patrolling, or hiking, she and I sat outside on the porch and had a conversation.

"All right Tanya, what's been bothering you?" I asked gently.

She sighed and looked out into the distance. "I think I may be losing my mind."

"What makes you think that?" I asked, surprised.

"I think I've been seeing things."

"Seeing things?"

"Well maybe not necessarily things," she said cryptically.

"Tanya, I can't decipher what you're saying, so you'll have to just come out and say it."

She looked at me with anguished eyes. I couldn't understand what she was so afraid to tell me. What she said next though stunned me into silence.

"I've been seeing Irina. She's been coming to me," she said quietly.

I didn't speak right away because I had to wrap my mind around what she had just said. Irina was killed by the Volturi, everyone remembered that. So if what Tanya said was true—and I knew she wasn't lying or making it up, it had rattled her enough to come to me in person—then I had to figure this out. There was only one explanation: she was really seeing Irina. That my thought of heaven existing was real. That Irina was in heaven and had some sort of message for her sister.

Before I could say anything, she spoke again. "That's why Carmen and Eleazer went to see Zafrina. They wanted to know if that type of thing was even possible, and Zafrina is a very spiritual being. If anyone has a connection to that world, it would be her."

Well that explained the absence of the other two and what they were doing in Brazil. I was very curious as to what they would find out. I always admired Zafrina and I know she and Bella had gotten close when the Amazonian's were here for that battle, when Irina lost her life. We saved Nessie and our family from destruction, but at the price of Irina's life. So now I wondered about this vision of sorts Tanya was having.

"So when Irina comes to you, what does she tell you? Does she actually say anything?" I asked.

"At first she didn't say anything. She would just come and stare at me. I wasn't even sure it was her. And she would always come when I was alone. Never when the others were there. Finally, one day near our house, I was just walking around, ironically thinking of her, and all of a sudden she stepped from beyond the forest. I was so startled I literally fell. She walked—no more like floated, over to me and smiled. I instantly felt at peace. I wasn't afraid anymore. She looked at me and the first words out of her mouth were 'please forgive me.'

"I told her I wasn't angry at her. I knew she was talking about what happened before she died. I told her I wasn't angry, that none of us were. I had gotten off the ground by than. Then she said, 'I'm all right. I'm safe and happy. I'm with mom.' That shocked me. She said she was with our mother! That made me instantly happy. She was closest with her. It was what she said next that surprised me. She looked me straight in the eye and said, 'Don't be afraid to love. Even someone who seems unlovable.' When I asked her what that meant, she just smiled, repeated it, and drifted away. Then she vanished. I have no idea what that meant. I still don't."

When she finished recounting the event, my mind was racing. I had no idea what that meant, either. 'Don't be afraid to love. Even someone who seems unlovable.' Hmm, obviously Irina was trying to give Tanya a message of something that was to happen in the future. But what exactly did it mean? Maybe Zafrina would have an easier time deciphering that. Tanya had come to me to see if my medical expertise could lend a hand in this. But in all the centuries I've existed, I've never heard of spirits coming to vampires.

The Watchers weren't home and said they would be gone for a while, so I couldn't ask them. I had a feeling Rogue would know something about this. Lord knows after walking the earth for around 3,000 years she must have seen and heard it all. Tanya and I both sat there looking baffled but composed. This was definitely different. Just then, we saw the wolves return. They had phased back and were walking and joking with each other. Suddenly, the smiles on their faces faded and they whirled around to the east. Without warning, all three started to run due east and phased back into wolves almost simultaneously. They disappeared into the forest soon after. Tanya and I looked each other. Wonder what that was about? We both stood up looking wearily into the forest for any signs of danger.

"We have company." I heard Edward's voice also come from the east.

He must have heard the wolves thoughts as they raced toward what I understood now was a new scent. He, Emmett, Rose, and Jasper had gone hunting and were just returning when they were nearly run over by the wolves. Kate, Garrett, Bella, Nessie, and Alice went hiking. They were still a good ways away, and I felt good that they wouldn't be here for whatever, or whoever, was our new visitor. This was sort of like déjà vu from when the Children of the Moon were here.

Edward read my mind and shook his head. "No, the scent belongs to a vampire. He's alone. The wolves are thinking they recognize the scent but can't place from where. Looks like he changed course and is running here with the wolves giving chase; he should be entering our backyard in a few seconds."

Just then a vampire did breakthrough the forest line. We were standing in defensive positions with Jasper and Emmett at the front, prepared for anything. At first none of us recognized him because he looked so different: younger and in different clothes. The wolves came to a halt behind him growling menacingly. He held out his hands to them pleading.

"Please don't hurt me! I haven't come here to cause you harm!"

It was when he turned his head to look straight at me and our eyes met that I realized in total shock that I was looking at Marcus!

~Carlisle Cullen