A Dragon is not a Slave

Dragonglass

     Daenerys Targeryan, Jon ran her name through his mind. He ran her face through his mind, her body, without her dresses and coats on. If the queen knew half my thoughts about her she would order me locked away. He was crossing the stone path from the caves to the castle, staring up at the dragons circling above. It was all Jon could do not to stare at her, in those times they were within the same room as each other. He had done his best to avoid the secret path that she seemed to favour, even though the temptation to meet her alone again was so great he took to walking the cliffs more than necessary. I've so much more important things to think about, why are they not occupying my mind. 

     When he was a boy, he used to trail after certain pretty girls, and solemnly stand near them, like a shadow. He was a bastard alone, and unwanted. Now he was a King there were ladies following him, smiling at him in Winterfell, whispering about him in taverns, even asking about him with Ser Davos. The relentlessness of Igrittes pursuing him beyond the wall had opened his eyes more. Women wanted him. And while it was ground he wasn't sure of, it was a welcome change to the sad boyhood he'd had. But Daenerys was different. Neither acting superior to him, nor particularly interested in him.

    And then of course, she was his enemy, and his would-be captor. If he didn't mean to stay. She was a formidable opponent, and no queen or highborn women he'd met yet was like her. King Stannis's wife Selyse knew how to act like a queen at the wall, posing about on thrones and making demands, and Queen Cersei was as cold and calculating as any royal could be, but Dany- he'd taken to calling her that in his mind, was more than a queen by those definitions. She was a commander, of course, but she was even more, it was like she was a mother. He'd learned much by watching her daily routine, much about what it meant to love and care for a vast number of people. But in this observing, Jon felt reduced to that boy in the shadows once more.

    He'd mined all the days he'd been on the island, so far. His hands were sprouting new callouses, and his back hurt with every dawn but he was accomplishing, and creating. Every chunk of obsidian loosed from the mountain was another to plunge through the rotted flesh of a white walker. And every walk back to Dragonstone was one spent with aching muscles, and yet a growing sense of relief. If he was stuck here, away from his family and people, at least he would return with a great arms force. But he also felt some guilt thinking about the north, and how so often lately it was second or third in his thoughts.

    Early in the week he'd taken to breaking the morning with a look at the sea but soon discovered the young queen chose this time as well to visit and feed her dragons. If he stepped into the shadows, neither her nor her adviser Missandei could see him, and she was so entrancing to watch that he found himself never missing it. She would walk down the stone staircase, with it's carved dragons, a little shining thing, and from out of the sky there would explode the three monsters, racing each other to be close to her. Dany would laugh at their exploits, and Jon would smile, and she wouldn't know because he was just a bastard hiding, and watching something he could never hope to deserve.

    Jon tried to shake those thoughts, but on the third morning, she suddenly glanced his way and their locked. He felt caught, and turned at once back to the cave. Shame raked at him, and he stayed safe inside the mine all day. At dinner he was quiet, and tried not to look at her, even when she was speaking. But in vain, because she was merry that night and he couldn't not watch her be merry. 

    "A sight, is she not," Varys had stolen up behind him during one of her laughs, and interrupted Jon's staring. "She means everything to us."

    "Lord Varys," Jon nodded to him, "I've been meaning to ask you about my father, it seems you are usually near at hand during any major deception."