The 28th of December, 1876, rolled around, and Gilbert Blythe was nowhere to be found, leaving Riley Carter with an unsettling feeling as she began envisioning all the reasons why he had failed to show up at their usual meeting place along the river.
It had been two hours since she had arrived, expecting to see Gilbert though instead, was met with lonesome as she laid her back against the broad oak tree.
He was never late; she thought. Maybe he lost all feelings for her. Maybe he didn't want to be with her. Maybe he found someone else.
All these ideas that ran through her mind were completely distorted, and ultimately and entirely untrue.
As she was trapped in her own reverie, the sun fell beyond the horizon, painting the sky above shades of orange and red as the golden rays cascaded upon the earth, reflecting on the girl's fair skin. Hours had passed before Riley broke away from her state of absent- mindlessness, realizing that Gilbert would not show up.
The petals on her lilac dress flew off as she stood tall, realising the best way to ease her mind was to visit Gilbert's house to see him for herself, perhaps confronting him as to why he had dismissed their unspoken traditional daily meetings.
-
Dear Riles.
I've been keeping something from you ever since we met. I guess I never told you this because I was too afraid of losing you, that you would detach yourself from me if you knew that me and my father were travellers and this was never my home, and it never was going to be. I never thought I would ever grow so attached to a place until I came here and met you. I've felt nothing for as long as I could remember, and you made me feel happy. And wanted. I had never thought in my entire life that I would meet someone who actually meant something to me. But when I met you, I was proven wrong. I know how much you despise clique concepts, though what I'm saying is the utter truth. And I'm sorry I let you get close to me. I hate to think that I ever hurt you. Believe me when I say I love you. And if fate works in our favour, I don't doubt we will meet again, perhaps in the future.
I'll miss you dearly, forever.
- Love Gilbert Blythe.'
Riley Carter gripped the letter tightly as a burning sensation rushed throughout her hands, heart and mind. The tips of her fingernails dug deeply onto the piece of paper that was clutched in her grasp. Though she didn't acknowledge the growing pain circulating from her hands.
It was far from indisputable that Riley Raine Carter's heart shattered into a million pieces the moment she laid eyes on the handwritten letter. Gilbert Blythe was the sole catalyst for the emotion she was currently experiencing for the very first time. Heartbreak.
And at that moment, the Carter girl's walls came crashing down. And as much as she tried to hold it in, it was hopeless as the pain erupted from her throat, choking out a muffled sob as her chest rose and fell rapidly, slapping her hand over her mouth in an attempt to stop her rush of emotions. It was useless. To her utter dismay, she had let Gilbert Blythe carry with him a piece of her heart. And that made her weak.
"There is no use of loving things if you have to be torn from them. Is there? And it's so hard to keep from loving things. Isn't it? Damn you, Blythe. Damn you."
-
Pleading his father that December morning, Gilbert appealed and insisted that they stayed. That he stayed for her.And for himself.The only image he had embedded in his mind was the look of tragedy and heartbreak on the face of Riley Carter. The girl who owned a piece of his heart. The very thought that devoured him was that of her anguish and hatred she would come to feel towards him. Or her falling into a state of mind whereby she would grow to forget him.
The scariest thing about distance is that you don't know whether they'll miss you or forget you.
Truthfully, neither of them could ever wholly forget the other, no matter how hard they would try. No matter what his father said to reassure him of his happiness, he could never fathom the idea without her being a central part of it. So he wrote her one final letter before he had been forced to leave, one that he dreaded awfully to even consider. He had lied to her about most of his life. Or so had never told her a focal part of his life. He would not blame her if she would have a mere thought of loathing him, nor if she would altogether believe that his very name would be unspeakable.
Word by word, the pain in his chest grew whilst the tears that brimmed his eyes slowly plummeted down his cheeks and onto the paper that lay before him, leaving tear stains that scattered throughout the page, smudging the fresh ink, as his heart shattered, for he must now leave his first and only love.
❝ Oh you will be happy again.
never fear. But you won't forget.
Every time you fall in love it will be because
something in the girl reminds you of her.❞
Maybe the two different worlds we lived in weren't so different. We saw the same sunset.
It was a matter of youthful love. Two merely adolescent individuals who had shared an experience of feeling new emotions they only could dream of, only to now be torn apart, basking in their own wistful melancholy. Their sense of longing consuming them, until their minds fade entirely, obliterating into the emptiness of the stars that they both once looked upon. More specifically, when Riley Raine Carter decided she was better on her own.
