If This Works

17

I was walking home alone. I wanted to have time to think. For once Hikaru didn't offer to walk me home. I'm still thinking of what Aki said to me. I still don't I know why he kicked me out. That explanation would really have been worth something. Not saying his apologies weren't.

I felt my phone vibrate in my pocket. I reached for it to see what was up. I was expecting Hikaru but it was Aki.

Aki: come to the cafe by the school I'll have macaroons waiting for you

I turned around and headed to the cafe. This would be my only chance to get answer. It was the only thing we have left to talk about. I wonder what he's been doing without me. Has he gotten a new play thing, or was that title reserved for me?

I don't even think he understands how much he means to me. He was my first kiss. I still care for him. Hikaru might be great and all but I have stronger feel is for Aki than him. It sucks I know, but it's true.

When I got to the cafe I looked through the window. He was sitting by himself. I never noticed this earlier when we were talking but his arm was in a cast. Not in bandages like before, but a full blown cast.

I walked in and sat down at the table with him. There was a cup full of Earl Grey tea in front of me. It's nice that he still knows what I like. We sat in silence. It was like some sort of awkward Mexican standoff with words.

"What you'd do to your arm?" I asked. I know it's out of character for me to just flat out ask but I couldn't take his silence any longer.

"This is one of those things you don't want the answer to Mouse." He said.

"Then why did you ask me here?"

"Because I know you want an explanation. I would have given you one earlier if the bell didn't ring. I couldn't do it." Aki said.

"What is your explanation anyway?" I really was curious.

"When I was around 13 I used to be bullied by these older boys. One day I decided to fight back. I punched one of them and they began to chase me. I ran away. I ran into this abandoned building. They found me. They grabbed me and started to beat me. One of them had an idea." Tears started to form in his eyes. "It was a terrible idea. They held me down and stripped me. I was scared. They took turns with having their way with me. I had no choice but to submit. That's why I kicked you out. I couldn't make that choice for you like they did to me."

I can't believe that happened to him. He was raped. What do I do now? What can I even say? I never knew. I can't understand why anyone would do that. I'm lucky that that's never happened to me. That now I have a protector.

"I'm so sorry Aki." I said.

"Kioshi, that was a long time ago. It shouldn't have been a problem. It's just when you told me you were still a virgin thoughts of pain and fear came back to me." He said.

"So what now? What's next?" I asked.

"I want to hang out with you again. We don't have to do anything you don't want to. I just.......I just want your company." Aki said.

"I don't know how Hikaru would feel about that." I said.

"He doesn't have to know. Mouse, please." He begged.

"Okay." I really can't stand it when he begs.

We finished the macaroons and tea. Before we parted ways we hugged. I missed him too.