If This Works

28

I've spent a week dressing up for him! I was a nurse, a flight attendant, an angel, at one point I just wore a woman's night dress. Tonight if he doesn't like this one I don't know what I'll do. I'm dressed as a mouse. A literal mouse.

It's his favorite nickname for me so I decided to really take it to heart. I drew little whiskers and a mouse nose on my face and I have a mouse ear headband. All I have on other than that is a thong.

I walked out of the bathroom after looking at myself for a while. I looked around the empty apartment. I went into his room. Once again I saw the bookshelf. Once again I wondered what they were. Once again I hesitated to take one off the shelf, but I did. He won't be home for a while, I can look through them.

I don't know what I was expecting to see but all that was in there was names of people next to dollar amounts. What the hell is this, what the hell is he? I took a few more books off the shelf. They just had more names and more dollar amounts. Not one of them under 100.

He can't be! No not after what he told me! Unless he lied. He lies all the time, no, no, he doesn't he only tells half the story. He only tells half truths. I heard the door open. I whipped my head to the side. He came to the bedroom door. He just looked at me and the books on the ground.

"I....I can explain!" Aki called. I'm not sure if I want him to explain anymore.

I stood up and put on my pants then grabbed my jacket. I looked at him I wanted to cry more then anything. I was out of the apartment before I actually shed a tear, and realized I didn't take my shirt.

I walked around aimlessly for a while. I zipped up my jacket. I wiped the makeup off my face. I just kept crying and walking. I found myself back at the playground in my old neighborhood just like before when Aki upset me. I don't even know the way here, but somehow even at night I found my way.

I just sat on the bench and cried. I couldn't go home looking like this. I don't think I'll ever get over this. I have to go home. I need my Grandmother. I know I look like a mess. I know she'll probably go nuts when I tell her but I can't feel worse then I do now.

I shuffled my way home. I opened the door and she was reading one of her books. I wiped my face again.

"Are you okay? You look terrible, honey." She said in a sweet voice.

"Grandmother I have something very important to tell you. It might not be something you want to hear." I said through sniffles.

"Come here." She said arms out reached. I sat down next to her and she held me in her arms. "You can tell me anything and I'll still love you."

I looked her in her eyes. I'm really stuck now. I have to tell her. "Grandmother, Aki and I are close as you know, but we're not close in the way you think. I'm gay." I said.

"I'm happy for you Kioshi. I'm happy that you found someone you like. I'm happy that you're happy and found someone to make you happy." She said.

"Your not upset." I said still with tears forming.

"Not at all. Go get yourself cleaned up and we can talk about this over some pie." She said.

I went to my bedroom. I put some real clothes on. I went into the pockets of my jacket. My phone was there. I checked the messages, all from Aki.

Aki: can't we talk about this?

Aki: please come back I need you

Aki: I'm sorry okay

Aki: you know I love you

Aki: please! I'm coming to your house we need to talk

I can't believe him. I went to the dining room. Grandmother was cutting the cherry pie. I sat down in front of her. She smiled at me. Even though it's late she still isn't tired enough to give up on me tonight.

"So how long have you known?" she asked. She put two slices of pie on plates.

"Not long. I questioned everything at first but then I guess I came to the conclusion I really liked him." I said. She put a plate in front of me. I started eating.

"Really, have you two done anything?" She asked. I started to blush. The doorbell rang. "I wonder who that could be at this hour."

I knew who it is. It's Aki.

"Don't worry I'll get it, Grandmother." I said.

I opened the door. Aki stood there looking defeated. I can't believe him.

"Grandmother I have to go I'll be back soon!" I called to her. I took my keys and closed the door.

"I don't have anything to say to you." I said as coldly as I could manage.

"You don't have to say anything. Just listen to me. Okay?" He said. "Let's go for a walk."