Starting Over (Islamic Fiction, Z.M)

Chapter 39 - (Showtime)

“Maggie? What are you doing here?”

“What am I doing in here?” I repeated his questioned, mimicking the same confused look that was on his face. Wait, wasn’t he the one who told Jawaad to do this?

“Yeah, this is my dressing room.” He trailed off, waiting for an explanation. He seemed as confused as I was about this whole situation, making me even more confused myself.

“Jawaad.” I said under my breath. I couldn’t believe it. Jawaad and Nadia fooled me into coming into his dressing room like that making me look like a complete idiot in front of him.

If they had only told me they had a way of us meeting and talking, I would have agreed and I wouldn’t be in this situation right now. I felt my cheeks burn from embarrassment.

“Jawaad?” Zayn asked confused.

Sighing, I decided to try and make my situation a little better by explaining everything to him, “Yeah. Well, Jawaad told me that my sister needed me in the bathroom then he locked me here. I didn’t know this was your dressing room. Sorry.” My voice was low because I hated the situation I was put in but it was audible.

“Oh, I see.” That was all that Zayn said as he passed me to put a shirt on and dry his hair, ignoring my existence in the room with him.

Hurt and anger rose inside of me when he passed me like I wasn’t even there. He was still angry at me and even now that I was in front him, he didn’t even care to ask for an explanation or care to acknowledge me in anyway.

“Can you please stop?” I howled at him in annoyance as he went around busying himself. He stopped and stared at me, “Can you please talk to me?” I said in a desperate way, almost begging.

“What do you want me to say?” His voice was distant and his stare tore my heart out. It was filled with pain and distrust.

“Tell me why you are ignoring me. Tell me why you won’t hear me. Tell me what you are feeling right now. Tell me anything, Zayn.” I begged. He looked down and sighed as if thinking about it but at the end he said nothing.

“I met Ella and she told me what Sarah told you,” I paused and he looked up in my eyes, “Why did you believe her Zayn? After everything I told you?” I looked at his eyes with a small lump gathering in my throat, “I trusted you Zayn. I told you things I never told anyone before.”

“Maggie, don’t,” He stopped me before I let my tears roll down my cheeks. They were barely hanging on my eyelid, blaring my vision, “The words that got to me weren’t Sarah’s words. It was yours.”

Sniffing, I gave him a confused look, “M-My words? What did I s-say?” I didn’t understand. I didn’t say anything.

“Forget it Maggie. I’m not going to let you lie to me again.” He let out a breath, shaking his head as if dismissing a thought.

“Lie to you? I never lied to you.” I defended myself getting a little more angry than hurt by his words.

“Yes you did. For god sakes, do you think I’m that stupid?” He raised his voice, startling me, “You know what? Don’t even answer because I am stupid. There were so many signs but I blocked them all because I trusted you. Heck, I even put my own career on the line for you, for what I thought was love.” He blared out suddenly, shocking me.

All words were trapped in that stupid lump in my throat. A million thought raced in my mind. Did he just say that he loved me? Me?

“You know what’s really funny about all of this?” He chuckled sadly, “If you told me from the start and didn’t put on this act for me, I would have forgiven you and we could have been a couple,” He looked at the distant then continued, “I would have asked you out after Waliyha’s party and I wouldn’t have to think a million time before saying anything to you or try to do things the right way for you. I wouldn’t have gone through all of that trouble trying to think of a way to just become closer to you.”