My Newsie Baby Too (A Spot Conlon Love Story)

Chapter 10: I will never forgive you

A few weeks later, Spot was able to go back to Brooklyn. He still had a broken arm and some broken ribs, but his leg was basically healed. Despite the fading bruises, he looked a lot better. I went back to Brooklyn to be with Spot. I couldn’t stay in Manhattan any longer. It didn’t feel like home anymore and I was afraid to walk the streets alone. I knew Spot could tell something was wrong with me. He always asked me if I was ok and I said I was fine. Spot didn’t need to know about what happened to me right now. He was still recovering.

                I sat on the dock, by bare feet periodically hitting the water. My hand clutched my stomach. I had been feeling sick lately. Everything I was able to eat, I threw up. And even when I didn’t throw up I felt like I had to. Spot came to sit next to me on the dock.

                “You ok, pretty face?” he asked.

                “I feel sick,” I said.

                “Maybe ya should go ta dat free clinc and get yaself checked out.”

                “Nah, I’m sure it’s just a cold or somethin’? Ya feelin’ better?”

                “Now dat I’m back wit you.”

                I smiled. “Ya a damn charmer newsie.”

                He kissed my cheek. I laid my head on his shoulder. A continuing thought kept running through my head. I wanted to tell Spot about Jack. But I knew he would kill him if I did. And as much as I hated Jack at the moment, I didn’t want him dead. Spot held me stroking my hair and telling me about his paper run that day. I heard someone walk up behind us on the dock. I turned around and almost fell in the water as I jumped out of Spot’s arms. It was Jack looking like he hadn’t slept or eaten in weeks. I stood up with Spot standing next to me. He hated Jack too, but not for the reason I did.

                “Les, can I talk ta ya?” he asked.

                “I would rather not talk to you,” I said softly.

                “It’ll only be for a moment.”

                “I don’ wanna talk.”

                “Les…” I tried to walk away from him, but he grabbed my wrist.

                “Let go of me!”

                Spot pushed Jack’s shoulder roughly. “’Ey, watch it, Cowboy. Da girl don’ wanna talk.”

                Jack instantly knew I didn’t tell Spot anything. Jack let go of my wrist and I backed up from him slightly. I told Spot to go back to the other newsies. He was reluctantly, but I told him I would be ok. He looked back at Jack before disappearing behind the cargo bins. I looked at Jack keeping my distance.

                “What do ya want?” I snapped.

                “I jus’ wanna talk. Ta apologize for what I done.”

                “Apologize? You really think ya can apologize for dis and everythin’ will be ok? You raped me. You hurt me. You can’t take back what you’ve done.”

                “I know I can’t. I jus’ thought dat it would be betta if ya knew I was sorry for it.”

                “So what? Ya did it. Ya can’ take it back. Ya can’ do nothin’. Ya can’ get ya friends back. Face it, Jack. Ya can’ fix dis one.”

                “Spot don’ know?”

                “No, and I can’ believe I’m still savin’ you after everythin’. Ya think you would still be alive if I had told Spot?”

                Jack chewed on his bottom lip nervously. “Are ya…ya know?”

                “Am I what?”

                “….pregnant?”

                I crossed my arms over my chest. “I don’ know. I’ve been too afraid ta go to da doctor.”

                “Ya should. Ya won’ be able to hide dat from Spot.”

                “If I am, dat’s ya ass, Cowboy.”

                “I don’ care. At least if I’m dead, da baby would have a betta chance wit a betta father like Spot.”

                “I thought you said Spot was trouble.”

                “I was jus’ jealous. He loves ya, and he should. Ya one hell of a girl.”

                I eyed him coolly. I remembered the time where his compliments would have made me smile and hit him playfully. But that time was gone. “Fine, I’ll go to the doctor. But it’s not for you. It’s for me and Spot.”

                “I don’ expect anythin’ from you no more. I shouldn’t.”

                “I will neva forgive you.”

                “I know.” He hung his head.

                “Leave Jack. We’re done talkin’.”

                He looked at me once and I could see the sorrow, pain, and regret in his eyes. He turned on his heel and walked away disappearing down the docks. I stood there staring long after he was gone. I put my hand to my stomach. I prayed I wasn’t pregnant. That wouldn’t have to raise a child at 16. That I wouldn’t be pregnant by Jack. I didn’t remember the last time I had prayed to God, but never heard me before. I just hoped he was listening now.