Life Of Afreen

Chapter II

   In the cold silent room, I laid on my bed as the morning sun peeked through the curtains, making the room a little less dark. But what light could be bright enough to shine the darkness of my soul?

   I didn't like the idea of questioning my father's decision concerning this marriage. But I also hate the idea of him setting me up without my consent. After all, it's my life.But then again, I wouldn't have a life without my father, I thought.

Abba has been a great part of my life. He played the role of a father and a mother to me. He also played the role of a best friend to me. He's done so much to me in this life.

I was only 16 years of age when I lost my mother, Ayeesha in a car accident. It was such a great lost of a great mother, great wife, great daughter and a great sister. I was so crushed with grief. I could barely talk, eat, smile or sleep. I built walls around me, forbidding anyone to cross them. I pushed away everyone around me. It was the same with Abba but he couldn't endure seeing his only child in such pain; it was unbearable.
 
  Abba made a vow to make me come back to my old usual happy self. He knew it would be utterly difficult but he put in mind that nothing is impossible to Allah(SWT).

It took me four good years to finally get a grip of myself with the help of du'as and Abbas love for me. Alhamdulillah, I was able to cope with life again, it was difficult though.

  I've been avoiding my dad for two days now; well mostly the conversation. He came to my  room twice after our little talk, but I never gave him the chance to speak up. Whenever I feel him close to my door, I always pretend to be sleeping.

Feeling utterly tired and super exhausted, I stood up on my feet to freshen up. It took me almost an hour to finally drag myself out of the bathroom with a soft mickey printed towel right at the middle of my thighs.

   I walked to the mirror and picked my Victoria's Secret body lotion. After I was done rubbing it on my body, I went to my wardrobe and drew a long maroon armless chiffon dress. I threw a black boyfriends jacket over it. I tied my shoulder length hair into a high bun. I was about to go out to the kitchen for food when I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror.

   I've lost a lot of weight in the past two days. Bones were sticking out of my skin and I hated it. Most girls would kill to be skinny, but not me. When Mamee was alive, she would always tell me to never suppress a hungry stomach for the purpose of looking good. I was obsessed with getting skinnier, but she would tell me am beautiful just the way I am. It's not that am too fat or anything, I'm average size with flesh in all the right place.

I can't believe I've lost weight as a result of all the tears I was shedding and all the thinking.

My head rolled to the right as the door of my room opened and it was the same person I had been avoiding for two days…CRAP!!!
But we were bound to see each other sooner or later as we clearly live under the same roof.

I took the veil that was laying on my bed and threw it over my body.

He walked into the room taking quiet steps and gently sat  on a stool.

"How are you feeling?" He asked.

"Alhamdulillah" I answered.

"I see you've been ignoring ya old poppa. I was drowning in a pool of tears knowing that my one and only baby is avoiding me" Dad pouted.

Oh dad. Don't you know that joking in a serious situation is so not cool…urghh.
I smiled, cause that's the only thing I can do right now.

"Afreen, are you not happy about the choice I made for you?"

Silence!

"Afreen, say something"

Again, silence!