Life Of Afreen

Chapter XVII

"On the restraint of anger, The Prophet (PBUH) said, "No one has swallowed back anything more excellent in the sight of Allah, who is Great and Glorious, than anger, seeking to please Allah, The Most High".
                                                                    

                        Chapter 17

O Allah, I seek the counsel of Your knowledge, and I seek the help of Your Omnipotence, and I beseech You for Your Magnificent Grace. Surely, You are capable and I am not. You know and I know not, and You are the knower of the unseen.

O Allah, If in Your knowledge, this matter of continuing my married life with Abdoul is good for me in my religion and in my life and for my welfare in the life to come in both the short term and the long term, then ordain it for me and make it easy for me, then bless it in me. And if in Your knowledge, this matter is bad for me and my religion, my livelihood and my affairs, then distance it from me and distance me from it, and ordain for me what is good wherever it may be, and help me to be content with it.

Deep in thought and sincere in her appeal, Afreen closed the Fortress of the Believers, and placed the hardcover on her dresser. Needless to say, her earlier meeting with Abdoul had put her in a fix. Feeling trapped between a chaotic mind and a calm heart, performing Istikhaarah(a prayer for seeking the counsel of Allah) had been the best solution.

Her current state reminded her the last time she performed Istikhaarah, it was when she had found herself at crossroads on the proposal of getting married to Arhmad. Initially, she had vehemently denied such a suggestion from her father, but when he had persuaded and insisted, she had decided to seek the counsel of Her Lord. She hadn't experienced an overly positive feeling after the prayer, but her earlier negativities too had wavered off a little.

And here she was, almost a year later, married off to a different man.

Such is life.

Afreen's mind was in serious doubt, thinking whether spending the rest of her life with Abdoul was good for her or not. A question only Al Aleem had an answer to.

Feeling drained with the thought, Afreen took a moment to breathe. It may have once seemed like things would never get better in her life. She had spent countless nights crying over what could have been. However, right now, she did not want the negative energy to overcome her heart. Instead, she wanted to set herself free from all things that she had no control over and simply accept everything decreed for her, just the way it was.

A part of her wants to forgive him and make him apart of her life once again, but the other half hates him so badly for all that he had done, for all the pain he put her through.

The sound of her phone brought her back to life. It was a text message from Abdoul.

Assalam, hope you're alright? Just wanted to inform you that I'll be staying at a motel tonight, it wouldn't be fair to crowd you with my presence. And I want you to know that I will respect whatever decision you make. Have a good night.

Her frown relaxed at the message she just read. She was finding it difficult to accept the drastic change towards Abdoul's behavior. First, he asked about her wellbeing. Secondly, he was actually making an effort to give her space. When he had said she could take all the time she needed, Afreen hadn't thought he had meant it in every sense of word.