Fostering Luke

The past is history

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ONE

Dear Diary,

(Orphan: a child whose parents are dead.)

My name is Casandra rose hunter, but i prefer Cassie. You are my new diary that I purchased from a random store. You are supposed to save my thoughts, and my life. A bit far fetched but that's what my shrink says. She persuaded me (well forced me) to buy you.

I know you're wondering why I just wrote the definition of an orphan as the start of my diary entry. Well you see, I'm an orphan. So why not use that as the start of my journey with you. It is the most interesting part of me after all.

I also know what else you're wondering. "how did your parents die?" that seems to be the only question I have been asked my whole life. But since you are basically my inner self I am going to make an exception and share that story with you...

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On September 29th 1998 I am born. My mother is as happy as ever. I just arrived on this lovely earth that I now call hell. My mother is a nurse. She works night and day to keep us off the street. She is kind, loving and thoughtful. She is everything a mother should be.

My father on the other hand is a drunk, lousy piece of shit that only cares about himself and the liquor store. He comes home late and does nothing but abuse my mother in front of me. I am still young, so i have no advantage over him.That fuels my anger even more.

Once I am thirteen years old I feel like it is the time. The time to do something that I was always so scared to do. We are driving in our hand-me-down car. The gas is on empty and once again my father is blaming my mother for it. I am alone in the backseat, fists clenched, glaring at my so called "dad."

He won't stop shouting. He's getting louder with each breath I take. My mother has sunk into the corners of her seat flinching. His hand connects with her soft, rosy cheeks and leaves her whimpering. I can't take this anymore. Tears stream down my face as I grab his arm. Pulling him with all my strength to get him to listen. To think. To do anything that doesn't involve hurting my poor mother. " I can't lose her" I think whilst pulling even harder on his upper arm.

His head snaps toward me and he gets ready to strike. But before anything happens, a truck appears on the road ahead. The world turns into slow motion. I can hear my soft heart beats. I can hear my mothers too. there is nothing I can do to change the inevitable. Large headlights appear even closer and my eye sight turns black. Fading, fading, gone.

I wake to an empty hospital room. IV lines are stabbed into inches of my bruised skin. I examine each scratch with each second. Questions roaming throughout my mind. "am I dead?" "Is there a hospital in heaven? or hell?" "Why am I alone?"  "Where is my mother?" ... I pull on the hospital gown that I am now wearing. My hands balling the piece of fabric.

My heart starts to beat fast. All I see is white. White walls, white floors, white machines, white sheets, white skin, my skin. The door clicks and an unknown lady walks in. I can tell that she's a nurse by her uniform. I instantly think of my mother and cry on the inside.

Where the hell is my mother? I need her. I need her to hold me and tell me that everything is going to be okay. My thoughts are broken by the sound of a voice. It's the lady's voice. 

"Hi, My name is Amber and I am your assigned nurse. You may be wondering why you are in hospital. You were in a car crash. You were severally injured and you have not woken up for 3 months." THREE MONTHS?!!! oh no I definitely need my mother now. She needs to tell this crazy women that I could never be asleep for that long.

I mean three freaking months? who could sleep that long. She spoke once again. " I wish I could explain the whole situation but i'm afraid I can't. The owner of the local orphanage is here to see you. They have been waiting for you to wake up."

an orphanage? what the freak? I think i'm going a bit crazy. It must be all the meds I'm on right now. I close my eyes and try to blur everything out. I can hear the door close. The so called "nurse" must have left.

My eyelids still remain closed. I then hear the door move again. What is it now? I open my eyes to see another lady standing in front of me. She is wearing normal clothes other than the lunatic that was just here before. "hello Casandra, I am Desiree. I am from the local orphanage and I have agreed to manage your case. I hear that you have no idea what happened is that true?" I nod my head not wanting to speak.

I hear a gulp escape from her throat as she grabs the plastic seat from beside the bed and sits right next to me. She reaches for my hand and I flinch. She releases a genuine smile and grabs my hand softer than the first time, I let her. Her eyes remain on mine for what seemed like a million years. Her voice breaks the silence.

"Look, what I'm about to tell will upset you. and I need you to promise me that you can be strong. Okay?" she asks as she tightens her grip on my hand in a comforting way. I nod once again. "You were in a car crash about three months ago. You have been in a coma ever since. When the ambulance found you, you were in critical condition. You have mostly healed now given the time. But when they found you, you were the only one at the scene alive."

She watches my face for my reaction. Tears escape my eyes and trickle downwards. My mother is dead. She. is. dead. I can't take this amount of pain. My heart is ripping at the seams. I collapse onto the pillow behind me. Crying as I pull my legs to my chest.

She still keeps talking. "They found the driver of the truck you crashed with dead on the side of the road. You were in a nearby ditch with your dead mother. I'm so sorry. If I could take this all back I definitely would. They said your mother must have fallen asleep while driving considering that she works heavy hours. Again I'm so sorry." 

Wait. did she just say that my mother was driving? They are so wrong. My father was. "uh miss my father was driving. My mother was in the passenger seat." she looked at me and then shook her head.

"Casandra you just woke up. Your thoughts will be a bit mumbled up right now. Your father wasn't there. He has run away. He wasn't dead at the crash." I looked at her confused. Am I the crazy one now? I could've sworn that my father was the one driving.

I don't really care about that right now. All I care about is mom. She's is dead. My dad has supposedly run away and I'm left with no one. No family no nothing. Then it struck  me.

I am now an orphan.

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