× SoonHoon One shots ×

Vulnerable

Genre: Angst. TRIGGER WARNING. Mention o suicide and depression. Read at your own risk.

Jihoon and Soonyoung have been together for more than a year. They've experienced ups and downs but they got through it.

-

Soonyoung rubbed his eyes. He was sleeping but was awoken up by his phone ringing obnoxiously.

He glared at the ceiling and then looked at the clock.

11:57 pm.

He groaned and grabbed his phone. He didn't bother to look at the caller's ID and just answered.

"What?" He asked, annoyed. He can hear sobs and difficulty in breathing from the other side.

"S-soonyoung..."

Soonyoung widened his eyes. It was his boyfriend.

"Jihoon? What happened? Where are you?" Soonyoung asked as he stood up and grabbed a sweatshirt to wear.

"Eo-eomma... s-she's already... g-gone..." Jihoon said in between his cries. Soonyoung can feel the younger's pain through his voice.

"Oh my God, baby. I'll be there. Where are you?"

-

Its been two weeks since Jihoon's mom died. And in those two weeks, saying that Jihoon feels terrible is an understatement. He feels devastated.

Jihoon loves his mom so much because his mom was always there to support him. Accepted Jihoon whoever he was and loved him unconditionally. Jihoon can't live without his mom because he loves his mom more than himself. And for the past months of watching his mother fight and suffer because of her unknown illness, Jihoon is hurt. He never wanted his mom to feel that pain because he believes that his mom deserves all the happiness and love.

Jihoon locked himself on his room for two weeks. He doesn't bother to eat and take a bath. He just lies down on his bed and stare at his ceiling decorated with glow in the dark patterns that he and his mom decorated when he was little.

On the first week, Soonyoung decided to not force Jihoon to do things. He understand how painful it is for his boyfriend because he knows how he loves his mother. So he respected Jihoon's decision.

One week turned to two weeks and two weeks turned to four. Jihoon isolated himself for a month already and Soonyoung is getting crazy. But he never bothered to confront or comfort the younger.

So when he received a call from Jihoon, he was surprised. But he was more surprised when he heard what Jihoon said.

"Let's break up for now. I need to fix myself first."

Soonyoung wasn't able to speak properly but he just mumbled a soft "okay" and then Jihoon hung up.

Soonyoung doesn't exactly know what happened but he just shrugged it off. Since he actually got tired of Jihoon pushing him away and always wanting to be alone. Besides, Jihoon have a psychiatrical treatment and he is having counseling treatments also with a grief counselor. He'll be fine.

-

After breaking up with Soonyoung, Jihoon felt more devastated. He knows in himself that he wasn't pushing Soonyoung away because in the first place, the older never confronted him.

Jihoon felt weak.

He feels useless.

He keeps on thinking about the painful memories on the past month.

The death of his mother, his father blaming him for his mother's death, his responsibility for his younger brother, his grades flunking, his friends leaving him behind, and his boyfriend not thinking about his condition and agreeing to break up with him. The fact that he has literally no one on his most vulnerable state.

As he thinks of those, he didn't notice himself standing on a chair, while holding a rope with a knot and his head on the knot.

All he needs to do is jump.

But before he jumped, his phone started ringing.

He step off from the chair and answered the call. It was Dino.

"Jihoon hyung? Did you and Soonyoung hyung already break up? Why is he announcing right now to everyone that Seokmin is his boyfriend?" Dino said from the other line.

Jihoon's tears started to fall. He just broke up with Soonyoung two days ago but he already got someone. All Jihoon was asking is a little space and time for him to fix himself so that he'll be alright once he got back together with Soonyoung.

Jihoon placed his phone on his bed and walked back to his position above the chair.

Just jump, Jihoon and everything will be done.

No more tears.

No more blaming.

No more pain.

Just peace.

Jihoon inhaled deeply and closed his eyes as a small smile spread on his face. He gripped on the rope on his neck.

He swung his feet and kicked the chair away.

ㅡㅡ

im sorry for this really sad chapter i just wanted to write this

and yes

this is basically my story and im jihoon

my recent ex boyfriend was soonyoung

its up to you how will you think about this but idc at least it's done

but don't worry, there'll be a part two for this

im sorry for this one, really but i just want to share my experience and i wanna teach a lesson which can be seen on the part two so stay tuned

ha

and hey i updated quick hehe i would like to thank you all for 15k reads and this fic is #515 in fanfiction today i love you all so much

i love you all and thank you 💖

💜
- 874 words