A Loner's Ballad

➳sixteen

SORRY

a thousand switches
yet none for my darkness,
barely a few miles
but we repel like magnets.

expectations so high,
i died underneath your sky.
my feet were in the air,
i never found a ground so still
letting the wind take over me,
I floated around your hill.

never found my light,
i am fucking blind.
couldn't see this one coming,
my bad, realised this so late,
that i am not meant for this.
i am not what you need
i am what you hate.

my dreams were small
a small room, love and a tree on my mind.
your dreams were tall,
i couldn't reach that height.
i am sorry i let you down again
but i can't help it;
i am a fucking pain.

you have to lie about me,
that i am all happy and dandy.
and i hate to see that,
i am nowhere on land, its just sandy.
i cry myself to sleep
knowing that you do it too.
but what hurts the most
is knowing that you gave upon me,
so soon.

my dreams; i never speak about them,
because i wanted to fulfil yours.
but you know what, i failed.
i don't know what went wrong, was it me or was it you,
but i know that its fucking my fault
i led you to believe that i will be true.

two years of my life!
i just want to die.
but i know that's not needed
because my insides' already vacant.
i am sorry, i let you down again
this wasn't supposed to happen,
there are a thousand switches in this room,
but none for our darkness.

A/N: tbh, i cried while writing this.