BMC & DEH One-shots

Blue 2.0 - Dear Evan Hansen [Sincerely Three]

A/N: tbh I spent way too much time on this and I'm still not happy with it XD. Requested by: Awesomebluepegasus

Evan sighed deeply pinching the bridge of his nose. It was finally the end of the day and he was looking forward to a bubble bath, but these idiots just had to block the path to his ride home. From here he could see Zoe and her friend Alana who offed to drive him instead of walking in the rain.

Of course these idiots had to be the one and only Connor Murphy and Jared Kleinman! (CLAP CLAP... no? Just me???) Connor leaned across the entry way to school while Jared... well Jared was face down on the ground.

"Heyyyyy Evvykins," The much taller male slurred. Great, Evan thought. These dolts had to go and get drunk at school. Though he had to give them credit, they managed to hide it all day — the drinks or how drunk they clearly were.

Evan shrugged his bag on his shoulder uncomfortably. "What the shhhhhhhit did you guys drink?" It felt weird to swear, Evan concluded. He wouldn't be doing it again any time soon. But, nonetheless the two drunken teens gasped.

"Evan just cussed!" Jared called from the ground, somehow managing to roll over without Evan noticing. "That's bad!"

Connor nodded. "Maybe we should punish him, Kleinmeme."

Evan shifted once again uncomfortably as both boys approached him slowly. "You make my balls so blue," he almost choked as the emo nightmare slurred out that sentence almost like it was previously planned, like he'd actually given it thought. Pfft nah.

Jared stood, swaying slightly. "You hurt them badly~"

"You make my balls so blue~"

"They're hanging sadly."

"What did they do to you, that you hate them so?"

To Evan, this sounded almost like a song — apart from the slur and almost incoherent words — and despite the fact this was both of his crushes standing there, he thought it hilariously terrifying. If he could just inch away without them-

Jared wrapped his arms around him. "Where you going Evvykins?" Damn it.

"I-I-I'm not interested g-guys..." The drunk teens weren't having it, the shorter of them all muttering a 'no'.

"Don't run from us Evvykins!" Connor leant down to hug Evan's waist, prompting a squeak from the male. "We won't hurt you."

Evan shuddered. He didn't like this. He didn't like this one bit. "Connie, JJ... stop." He said, using his hands to gently push them away. And for once, both of them listened, either that or they were too drunk to care. He sighed dragging the two down to the steps to Zoe's car.

"Hey, Zo," Evan knocked on the window. "Can you-"

"If you're going to ask me to take them home, the answers no." Zoe crossed her arms stubbornly. She knew that this'd happen and her car still smelt faintly of vomit from the last time. "Walk them."

Evan pinched the bridge of his nose for the umpteenth time today. This absolutely did not help his situation. Now he was stuck with a task of walking two totally out of it teens home without getting caught or finding trouble. He huffed before flipping off Zoe and taking the hands of his friends.

Jared gasped. "Even number just did a bad thing!"

"I can do as I please J-jared..." Evan ran a hand through his hair. "And my name is Evan, you know that." He groaned, this was going to be a long walk home.

————————————————————
*later that night*

Evan groaned as a ting woke him from his peaceful slumber. Who the fudge is up at- 3am?! (The answer is me. Whoops...)

Bi_and_ready_2_die added Treeboi and Connor...you're gay hun to Blue

Bi_and_ready_2_die: my balls will work for you~
Connor...you're gay hun: they will obey ya!

He just powered off his phone quickly. That is something he'd have to ask them about tomorrow. Preferably when they're not drunk or high off their asses.