What if the seven dwarfs never really existed and were just branches of Snow White's personality? Happy for the good days, Grumpy for the bad, Sneezy when under the weather and Bashful around that special someone. What if every time you looked into...
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As Ted and I made our way into the room where the rest of the group sat together in a circle, I suddenly felt anxious, letting him into this world of mine. He didn't know this Ava. He knew the one who ate her feelings, not the one who shared them. This was like overstepping a boundary of some sort.
"Ava, nice to see you!" said Ray, who took a leadership role among this group. The rest of us didn't bother to challenge him for doing so. He was good at making people feel welcome and was usually the one to initiate discussions, so it was okay with us if he wanted to start sitting at the head of the group and making it official that he was taking charge.
"And who's this?"Ray asked with a warm smile, motioning towards Ted. I felt the panic rise in my chest once again, but Ted put an arm around my shoulder and I felt safe again. "This is Ted, my boyfriend," I said, and for the first time, with a straight face. I could tell this pleased Ted as well, as he tried to hide the wide grin making its way onto his face.
"Come, have a seat," Veronica said, pulling two chairs out for us. She gave me a wink when she thought no one else was looking and I hoped she couldn't tell I was blushing. Veronica was my closest friend in the support group; her father was recently imprisoned for abuse, so I couldn't even begin to imagine what she was going through. But she and I did have one thing in common: pain, and that often had a way of bringing people together.
Ray announced that today's discussion was about anxiety and panic attacks, and I could feel Ted's eyes boring into me the entire time. I kept my gaze locked on the floor to avoid meeting his. Everyone took a turn speaking about their past experiences and I could sense the shift in atmosphere; it was my turn to go.
Without being told, I stood up- something I normally didn't do when I was addressing a crowd. I preferred being one among them, just sharing my views, not necessarily someone they had to devote sole focus towards. I cleared my throat nervously, pretending as if no one was in the room. Only Ted. He needed to hear this.
"A few days ago, I had a panic attack at school. The mention of Skott triggered my emotions and I felt like I was being choked. My eyes started to water, my breathing started to grow heavier and I felt like everyone in the world was watching me."
I took a deep breath, closed my eyes, then began again. "I was terrified. It was like I was reliving the moment she died all over again. The day I came back from school to find out that she had jumped kept replaying in my mind. I couldn't stop crying. The walls were closing in on me. I felt cold; numbness was overtaking my body. I was breaking to pieces, then and there in that little corner in that empty classroom.
But the one mistake I learnt to never make again, was to hide it away. Someone came in search of me, that day. Someone very important in my life. The old Ava would've brushed away the tears at insane speed, said something sarcastic and pretended as if nothing ever happened. But this time? I let myself get helped. I let him into my walls. I displayed my vulnerability with pride and I let him catch me as I fell. For if I hadn't, I would've landed myself in a dark pit I couldn't have dug myself out of. Sometimes, even the warriors need to be rescued. And sometimes, it's the damsels in distress that save them."
At the last sentence, I looked up to see Ted's eyes filling with tears. He got up from his chair and engulfed me in a hug as everyone in the group clapped.
And that's when I saw her. Peering in through the window out front, was none other than Emma Sanders.
As soon as she caught my eye, she walked away in a hurry, as if she'd never been there in the first place. Looks like Emma wasn't as perfect as I'd marked her to be, for if she was, she wouldn't be here at this place.
The rest of the session went by in a blur; hardly anything registered in my mind. All I could think about was Emma and what made her come to this support group.
Was it family issues? Abuse? Dead loved one? Life threatening disease? I wanted to find out more than anything, but I also knew I should respect her privacy. She would come when she was ready.
. . . . . . . . .
"What makes you think I want to come on a date with you and your boyfriend?" Alora whined. I knew this was going to be her reaction since the moment Will drilled the idea in my mind. A date night wasn't Alora's scene. It wouldn't take a genius to figure that out.
"But he has a hot boyfriend!" I shouted back, trying to be as persuasive as possible. I couldn't believe I was complimenting Will this much without puking. I should've demanded money from him.
"FINE." She retorted reluctantly, flinging a pillow at my face. I clapped my hands together in delight. "Thank you thank you thank you!" I squealed, and she chuckled.
"This guy's special, huh?" I nodded. "He really is, Lor. And trust me, you'll love your date. He's definitely a keeper."
"What? You never said he's on the Quidditch team!" Alora gushed, then laughed at her own pun.
I failed to hide my surprise. Alora was into Harry Potter? I had no clue! I assumed only Elody read books because she had a new one with her every day. It never even crossed my mind that Alora might read a book, much less Harry Potter!
Unless....
Julia did say that sometimes Holly's splits would confuse one another and merge a few personality traits. Say, one day Elody might wear full black and listen to ACDC like Alora and one day Daisy might play the piano as if it were the most normal thing in the world. Likewise, right now Alora's personality was getting confused with Elody's. Mind you, she was still as grouchy and moody as always, but she had acquired Elody's love for Harry Potter. This night took an unexpected turn of excitement.
Will was the next biggest Potterhead I knew after Skott's Dad, so if Will could hit it off with this new fangirl inside of Alora's body, step one would be complete for Project Mirror Mirror. Just two to go.
Maybe my first date with Ted was going to go even better than planned.
A/N I can't even put down in words how excited I am for the next chapter. Literally. I can't write. I don't know how to anymore. Writer's block is the absolute worst. Also, my fingers hurt from typing too much.
Well, I still hope you liked this chapter no matter how sappy it was. Leave your thoughts in the comments please :)
