What if the seven dwarfs never really existed and were just branches of Snow White's personality? Happy for the good days, Grumpy for the bad, Sneezy when under the weather and Bashful around that special someone. What if every time you looked into...
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❝Death is not the greatest loss in life. The greatest loss is what dies inside us while we live.❞
~Norman Cousins
• • •
All day, people told me that it'd get better eventually. They told me that the tears would dry and the grief would fade away with time. They told me that the insipid canvas of my heart would soon be splotched with colour. As much as I wanted to believe them, I knew that I wouldn't ever heal from the gaping hole in my heart that my granddad had left when he took a piece of it with him to a better place.
The pain wouldn't ever leave me. The memories wouldn't ever leave me. His absence would linger at the back of my mind wherever I went, guiding me, consoling me and tearing me apart. It would break me to see him as only a figment of my imagination.
When you lose someone who crafted your entire life-someone who stood by you through the storm, who taught you everything you needed to know and who gave up the world just to see you smile- you never move on. Your heart breaks and will never heal. The bad news is that you'll never be able to deal with their loss. The mention of them would bring a smile on your face, as well as tears in your eyes as you remember them and mourn them. But this is also the good news. So long as their memory is sealed within the walls of your broken heart, they will never leave you. They'll always be there, deep inside of you.
Granddad played an integral role in the shaping of my life. Not only was he family, he was also my best friend. He was the first person I approached whenever I had a problem. A cup of tea in hand and a throw pillow in the other, we spent many evenings in his dining room, discussing my grandmother, my parents, politics, religion and countless other things. He was my favourite person to talk to, solely because I loved hearing what he had to say. He spoke as if he had a passion for everything in life. Often I was confused as to whether Granddad found the zest in life or life found the zest in Granddad.
He had a positive approach to absolutely anything you could think of. Perhaps that's where I got my own optimism from. But next to Granddad, I was the biggest pessimist in the world. Yes, he was just that enthusiastic. There was no doubt why Charlotte had chosen a man like him.
"I figured you'd be out here," Ava said, shutting the door behind her and taking a seat beside me on the back porch of Granddad's house.
"This was our thinking spot," I said, reminiscing about the times when Granddad would bring me out here to talk about my next painting ideas. We'd gaze longingly at the backfields and take walks around his garden, observing the flowers and fabricating sketches in our heads as we did so.
He was the only person who truly understood my fascination with art. When I was stumped on ideas, he brought me out here, handed me a paint brush and made me do what he called 'air-sketching'. We'd aimlessly move our paintbrushes around in the air until inspiration struck me. Granddad never painted, but with the way he advised me, it was a miracle he wasn't an artist himself.
Ava made no comment, and I was thankful for that. She knew that if she so much as mentioned Granddad, I'd set off into another breakdown, possibly worse than the last. Saying it out loud made it more real. It was easier to take it slow and let the truth of the situation break me piece by piece, and not all at once.
The door creaked open, and Will seated himself on my other side. His eyes were red and puffy, just like mine and Ava's, and the sight jolted me awake, as if I'd only just heard about Granddad's passing. I took a deep breath and shot up from my spot on the porch, knowing full well that if I thought about it any longer, I'd cry my eyes out, wallow into myself and never see the light again. I couldn't afford to give up on life just yet. That's not what Granddad would've wanted.
Slowly and steadily, I picked up my hand and dragged it in the air, pretending as if I was holding a paintbrush.
He was there in the air I breathed, the verdant valleys I wandered and the lilac skies I saw.
He was there in the yellow smiles, the scarlet cheeks and the golden days.
He was there in the words I said, the dreams I dreamed and the paths I took.
He was there in the white lies, the jade mistakes and the blue heartbreaks.
He was there in my jet black heart, my rainbow mind and my colourless soul.
He was anywhere but the dark grey slab of stone he lay under.
Mimicking me, Ava and Will shot to their feet and picked up imaginary paintbrushes, slowly skittering their hands over the scenery that lay before us.
We painted a better today where Granddad was still with us. I could see the light in his eyes and his crinkly smile. We coloured over the sorrow with bright oranges and yellows. We patched up the torn edges. We painted over the past.
It'd been twenty-four-hours since my granddad left this world, and for the first time, I was beginning to believe I'd make it through.
So long as I had a paintbrush in hand, love in my heart and memories to last a lifetime.
• • • A/N Sorry for the short chapter! I've been incredibly busy, but I'm hoping to wrap up Mirror, Mirror by the end of November. Unless I randomly decide to pull out another unexpected Brynn, of course, haha.
In other news, MM won first place in the Ohana Awards and first place in the Prism Awards!!!! Yesss, two awards in one week, y'all!!!! Thank you so much for being so supportive ❤❤❤ Love you all xx
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