Mirror, Mirror | ✓

•Day 41• Ava

❝We're all snorting pretty little lines of each other's snow white lies.❞
~Erin Van Vuren
• • •

As a kid, I loved mysteries. I had an odd habit of hiding myself away in places no one would ever be able to find me. Then, I'd slowly leave clues around the house for my mother to trace and eventually come find me. 

Sometimes, my clues would be misleading. Those were my absolute favourite. I loved writing them such that they could be interpreted in numerous ways. The best part was that I would know exactly what my mother would think when she read the clue, and that would be exactly where I was not. 

Twelve years down the line, I was playing hide and seek once again.
But I wasn't the one hiding.

The handwriting on the letter Holly and Thea wrote was unmistakably the same as the one on the hate notes Daisy was receiving. 

That could only mean one thing: Ted was innocent.

I ran a hand through my hair, unable to believe my eyes. I sank to the hard, cold floor in silence. The letter staring back at me held all the answers, yet I still felt lost. Why did he allow me to blame him? Why did he let me break it off? Why did he let me believe that he could be such a monster?

How could I have blamed him without investigating further? I was the villain for having come to the conclusion so quickly without thinking it through. Why did I immediately think the worst of the boy I loved?

I felt people's gazes boring into me as they walked passed me in the hallway. I was huddled beside my locker, head in my hands, expecting the oncoming breakdown. 

I let him go. I let him go because I didn't trust him. I let him go because I was afraid to trust him. I let him go because I didn't know how to trust him. 

I let him go. But why did he let me?

"I didn't do it," he whispered, that night on the roof. I refused to believe him. I thought he was lying to make me feel better. 

He didn't justify himself because he knew he shouldn't have to. I was his girlfriend. I claimed to have loved him. How could I have been the first in line to push the blame onto him?

I loved him. I loved him before, I loved him then. I couldn't get him out of my head or my heart. But I knew he had to get me out of his. 

I wasn't worth it. I wasn't good enough. I couldn't love him the way he deserved. I blamed him because it was the easiest thing to do. Not even for a second did I stop to think that maybe he was merely looking at the letters to try and arrive at a conclusion the way I had with him. He was only trying to help, but I assumed the worst of him.

The worst part was that he was good to me. He cared for me like no other and for once, I found myself caring for someone too. I didn't push him away like I had the others. I didn't let my fear of falling stop me from having the best few weeks of my life. 

I let it come to an end. I let it crumble. I let myself break. There was no one to blame in this charade but myself. 

That night on the roof, he wanted to tell me something. I could see it in his eyes. But he stopped when I pushed him away. He wasn't used to that because I never pushed him away. He was the one person who was allowed to stay by me even at my weakest. It took me time to let down my walls, but when I did, I knew I didn't want to build them back up. Until I saw the letters.

I should've known that he'd never do something like this. I should've known that he was better than that.

He's hiding something, my voice of reason warned me. Else why would he allow me to blame him? Why didn't he deny it?

But there was no use. He ought to have known that. The moment I set my mind on something, there was no going back. The moment I told myself it was Ted, that's it. My heart was locked, my walls were rebuilt and my emotions were boarded up. I shut him out and didn't give him the chance to explain himself.

I was struggling with the weight of the situation. If it wasn't Ted, who was it?

Who would Ted do anything to protect? Who would Ted risk anything for?

Thea.

The thought sent my mind whirling with the new information. No, I told myself. I couldn't make the same mistake twice. I couldn't start jumping to conclusions just yet. I had to swim in the waters before drowning in them.

I couldn't think about the letters any longer. All my mind could focus on was the fact that Ted was innocent. My Ted.

I tried to get over him. I tried pretending like I was stronger. But honestly, I was just another pathetic teenage girl who'd fallen in love too early in life. I'd already given away the half a heart I had left.

I had to make it up to him. I had to win him back. I had to show him that I cared about him and trusted him way more than I let on.

I had to tell him that I was finally ready to commit.
I was ready to love.
I was ready to fall.

The only question was, would he take me back?

What if it really had been Thea and Ted had taken the blame? Was Ted okay with letting me go in order to save Thea? Did he choose her over me?

I loved him. It was pathetic. I was a mess. But I knew it.
It was time he did too.

When I was younger, I'd been the one writing the clues. I felt like I was a master at it because of how long it always took my mother to find me.

But I was wrong. It was much harder on the receiving end. I didn't know where to look for clues, much less distinguish the real from the misleading.

There was only one thing I couldn't wrap my mind around. Why was Ted the one hiding?

. . .
A/N There you go, Tava shippers! Enjoy your OTP while it lasts.