Mirror, Mirror | ✓

•Day 43• Ted

❝I'm tired of fighting. For once, I want to be fought for.❞
• • •

I walked into school early like always when it was a Holly Day, but I could immediately sense that something was amiss.

Holly and Will's shouts could be heard even from the school gate, and Ava's voice wasn't arguing with them. It wasn't just for fun; that, I was sure of. 

I hurriedly made my way through the back exit so that the pair wouldn't see me, and my ears perked up at the sound of Ava's voice. It was coming from the janitor's closet, Ava's favourite hiding spot. That wasn't a good sign at all.

I didn't even stop to think about all that had gone wrong between us in the past week. She loved me once and I could never stop. That was that. I had to help her when I could.

We were best friends before we tried our shot at romance. Surely she wouldn't have forgotten about all that after one breakup.

I opened the closet to find Ava on a rant with herself. Her cheeks were blotted and her eyes were red-rimmed from crying. My instinctive response was to rush over and hold her in my arms and whisper in her ear that everything would be alright, but I told myself that was the last thing she needed then. She couldn't deal with more complications. I needed to be a friend.

"I don't get it. What does he want from me? One minute he needs me like his life depends on it and the next he pushes me away and says I'm intruding!" She said exasperatedly, this time facing me.

 She didn't bother to cover up or pretend like she wasn't just having a steamy conversation with herself. For that, I had great respect for her. She let down her walls once, and despite everything that happened, she didn't bother to build them back up.

"You sound like such a mom," I remarked, unable to stop myself. It was a typical Ted response, and she wouldn't have said that to me if she hadn't already expected it.

"Well, I'm most definitely not Will's mom, because that woman is a monster. How I wish I was Holly's mom- the poor girl needs someone to help her back up. And I'm glad I'm not your mom because then I'd have my first shot at love after my husband died get crushed by my dumb son," she said, and I winced.

"Can we not t-"

"Talk about this now? Then when, Ted?" She snapped angrily. "We could've talked about a lot of things, you know. Like how you didn't actually write those letters, perhaps."

"Ava, I-"

"I what? I'm covering up for my twin sister who means everything in the world to me? I'm just protecting her? What the hell is wrong with you?"

"Wait. You think Thea did this?" I laughed incredulously. "First you blamed me and now you're blaming my sister? Oh, next you're going to blame my mother too," I laughed bitterly in her face, and tried to ignore the wounded look she gave me.

"This is getting ridiculous, Ava. I kept thinking that sooner or later you'll realise you're being rash and will come apologise to me. I was waiting and waiting for that day to come because I wanted to be patient with you. I wanted to see how much you truly loved me. If you loved me you would've believed me from the start. Or, at the very least, somewhere along the way, without me having to prove myself to you. I wanted you to know in your heart that I could never do something like this. It hurts to know you think so less of me," I poured out, sick of her treating me like this.

Like I was the villain. Like it was my fault when all I was doing was trying to help. I wanted to examine those letters for myself and figure out who was behind them so that it would be less taxing on Ava. And worst of all, I hated how she assumed things about me. She thought that just because I was popular I'd expect too much of her. She thought that I'd run away when things got hard or that I'd judge her every time she broke down her walls. 

But how could I? She was the most beautiful person I knew. It wasn't her jet black waist-length hair or her bronze skin. I didn't think of her as 'exotic' because she was half-Korean. It wasn't even because of her talent with the violin. It was the way her lip trembled when she was nervous, the way her eyes squinted when she heard something that was too good to be true and that light-hearted smile she gave me every time we talked about her sister.

It was the way she handled situations. She was a free spirit and no one could ever bring her down. The way she cared about the people she loved. She was fiercely protective of Allie, she never let a day go by without worrying about Holly and Will was her responsibility. I didn't know if my name still made that list, but deep down, I hoped so. 

I loved Ava Wang with all my heart, but she let me down. She might've been going through a hard time, but there were no exceptions when it came down to love. Especially to her. If she could forgive Will for cheating on her best friend, I deserved an apology for being doubted. 

"Why are you always so confusing?" was all she said.

And yet again, she'd let me down.

"Why couldn't you be straightforward and just tell me that you didn't do it?" She shouted. "Instead, you kept up this whole mystery and you made me hate you," she burst out, her voice cracking on the word 'hate'. 

And that was when I knew I'd lost her. 

"But I did tell you," I whispered. "If only you'd chosen to listen."

I'd lost her. She knew it too. 

I turned to leave, when a thought crossed my mind. "You promised me," I said, starting to tear up too. "You promised me that no matter what happened with Will and Holly at the end, we'd still be together."

We were sitting on the front steps of the school building. My hand was on top of hers and my heart was beating at the speed of light. I loved her then and still, but at least then I knew how to tell her.

"You promised," I whispered, then walked away before she could say anything. She had her chance to make it up, but she chose to blame me instead. 

She had her chance to love me, but she chose to hate me instead.

. . .
A/N So I made the mistake of rereading the first Ted and Ava chapter before this and now I feel really sad. And guilty. I'm sorry, you guys 😭