Warning! This is a completely irrelevant chapter in this book. If you hate boredom, please skip ahead to Chapter 7. This chapter doesn’t have any vital information to the rest of the story, or your lives, so you are probably wasting your time. But then again, this book is full of irrelevancies, so choose wisely.
Agents, this is a map to your routine. Here is a list of things you can and can’t do:
CAN:
Eat.
Breathe.
Think inside the borders.
Feed animals.
Wear any colour you like.
Watch any G-rated movie without permission.
Give a donation of any amount to F.A.D whenever you want, but please do it mainly in the winter when our heating bills are up.
Sell anything you want, as long as it’s not liquor, cigarettes, pirated videotapes, or non-rechargeable batteries.
Talk to your boss in a disrespectful manner if he’s from M.O.C, and if you get fired, then we’ll cover you for a week.
Visit Golden Golf Courses whenever you want, even if it’s closed.
CAN’T:
Go on a vacation without permission.
Rob a bank.
Read a book that isn’t from our online propaganda shop without permission.
Clean up after animals without permission.
Spank your child without permission.
Dance without permission.
Go to concerts.
Ask your relatives to record the concerts for you.
Have more than five chocolate bars a week.
Be related to anyone who works for an evil organization bent on taking over the world.
Sing without permission.
Win the lottery, and if you do, please donate your winnings to us.
Have a product that’s generated over $200 million in sales.
Pronounce a curse on your descendants just because you didn’t get your way.
Hijack a Concorde.
Watch any PG rated (and up) movie without permission.
Make random comments.
Cheer on the Calgary Flames, because they have a word for fire in their name.
Kill the bad guy.
Drink root beer.
Complain about the roads.
YOU ARE READING
Something Random to Satisfy You With
HumorSomething Random to Satisfy You With is a story about an election conspiracy between two secret agencies in a small town in Alberta, Canada. But it's much more complicated than that. And weirder. There'll be lies, love, over developed backstories, c...
