Real Feelings

Chapter 4

School finally ended. I was happy to come back home but I just wish that I can replace my parents with the cool people I met today. I was fighting against the thought of Zacky. A part of me like him but another part is too afraid to get hurt again and don't want to risk my new built up weak soul. 

I enter my house, empty again. Like me. I sometimes feel like I'm nothing and that my personality is all a lie. Maybe I'm just faking all this. I push those poison taught away and see a note on the fridge with the hand writing of my mom. "Sorry Marianne, we have a important file to do your father and I and it'll surely last a week if not more. We left you extra money and you can use your credit card that you have. Be safe-xox-"  Cool! FUCKING SHITTY AWESOME! Home alone again! Can't wait to sleep in a fucking house that could be easily fit with 10 more people then myself. I need someone. I like when there is someone with me. I fucking hate when I'm alone because that's when i start to think about things that happened to me, all the mistakes I made. All of those shit come haunt me day and night when I'm alone. 

I needed extra stuff for school, I got outside and knock on Lacey's door. I will try not to show her my pain but it will be hard with her because she see every thing in my eyes. She open the door and let me in. "I need stuff for school, do you want to come with me or give me a lift?" I ask her with a little smile. "Yeah let me get the keys and ask for money" She said and she left me alone in the living room. I hear my phone do the Master Of Puppet riff, someone is calling me. "Allo?" Shit I answered in french. "Hi Mary! It's Zack, I like when you answer in french! Humm, do you know what we need for history, I didn't take the notes down" Zacky ask on the phone. Shit he didn't waist time to call me. It was the first time I felt special for a guy but it was surely my imagination. "Lacey and I are going so just text me your address and we will come and get you" I told him with a smile that went to my ears like if he could see me. "Cool, see you now Mary" He said before hanging up. Lacey came back with the keys and money. "Is it okay if you pass by to take Zacky, he need stuff too" I ask Lacey and she look at me waving her eyebrows up and down, "Shit Mary! You just gave him your number at lunch and he is already calling you!" She said giggling around. "Hey! don't you say anything or I'm going to talk about your little thing going on between you and Johnny!" I threatened her with a smile as I started to feel my cheeks burning. She nodded and we got in her car and Zacky. He got in the car, it was silent. I didn't want to make him feel uncomfortable but I couldn't stop thinking about the fact that I would alone, again. "They are gone again?" Lacey ask me, keeping her eyes on the road. Shit! Is she reading my mind or something! That knew me too much at one point, I can't even hide her that I'm sad. "Stop thinking about them Mary, they are only making you sad" Lacey said seeing that I didn't answer her the first time. Lacey couldn't even be with me for a owl week, she had family to see and a little date with Johnny, I couldn't ask her to stay with me! 

Suddenly a hand came from the back seat, Zacky's one. And he put a CD in the CD player of the car and I recognized one of Alice Cooper's song. Many people knew Alice Cooper without really listening to him. But I was wrong about Zacky, "I listen to him when I want to get things out of my head" He said gently from the back seat. And for the rest of the road I kept my eyes closed and I listened to Alice Cooper's melody.

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After the shopping that went really well, we had fun and we laughed a lot. Zacky made me laugh. We take back Zacky to his house and before he could enter his house, I got out of the car. I didn't know what I was thinking but I felt the urge to tell him. "Wait Zacky!" I yell, he stop in his track as he was about to unlock his door. "Hum, I just wanted to tell you that I had a really great first day of school, thank you. I never taught I would make friends on the first day" I admit to him, I was scared shitless that he would laugh at me or something like that. "Wow! thank you Mary and to admit I never taught I would like to go at school now" He told me while his cheeks started to be a red color, just like a roses. "See you tomorrow Zacky" I told him and put a chaste kiss on his burning red cheek, and I ran up to the car as Lacey started up and press on the gas pedal like if we just rob a bank. I didn't know what I have done, I just kissed Zacky on the cheek and ran away like a 8 years old girl. What the fuck was wrong with me? I'm never so happy usually.