never be the same | grayson dolan

forty one

My eyes slowly drift open as I feel myself awaking from my deep sleep. My warm comforter is neatly wrapped around my body, protecting me from the coldness of the apartment. Wearing Grayson's t shirt with my black sweatpants was no match for the winter air that is around the corner. I slowly look around and notice the bed is empty and Grayson's duffle bag is not on the ground next to the bed. I quickly sit up and glance around the room.

"Grayson?" I stand from my bed and walk out of my room. My panic fades away when I see him in the kitchen. He smiles at me before grabbing two spoons out of the drawer.

"Good morning beautiful." He pecks my lips softly once I approach him. "I didn't want to wake you up."

I take a seat on the high top chair at the kitchen table island and smile. "What have you been up to?" I chuckle with a yawn.

"Just making breakfast." He places one of the spoons in a bowl and slides it across from me.

I can't help but blush down at the cereal in front of me.

"I knew you had Lucky Charms hidden somewhere in this kitchen. It was just behind all the healthy food." He laughs and sits down next to me.

"My mother always wants me to eat healthy, so if she found this she would complain." I sigh as I take a bite. "Ever since I left Florida, I bought about five boxes and hid them all."

"It's all I eat for breakfast." He grins while looking at me.

I suddenly look around the quiet and empty apartment. "Where's Anthony?"

"He stayed at Ava's last night." Grayson chuckles. "When I woke up this morning he wasn't here, so I texted him to see where he was."

"Wow, Ava must be thrilled." I look back at him.

"All I'm going to hear on the plane tonight is every little annoying detail about what he did last night." He playfully rolls his eyes before taking another bite.

"I got kind of worried when I woke up and you weren't there." I sigh and look at my cereal. "I thought maybe you left."

"Are you serious?" Grayson practically bursts into laughter. "Why would I leave and not tell you?"

"I don't know." I shrug my shoulder and look back at him. "Your duffle bag was gone."

"I packed it and moved it into the living room this morning." He nods toward the blue and white duffle bag sitting on the couch. "Madison, I would never dip out on you like that."

"Sorry, I was just overreacting." I admit while staring into his eyes. "I'm just upset you're leaving."

This was the best weekend I've had since returning home. It's starting to hit me again that Grayson and I don't live together anymore. I don't get to see him everyday and it sucks. As much as I keep myself busy and try not to let it affect me, it still does.

"I wish I could stay longer," He exhales sharply. "But I made a promise to your dad that I would focus on work and school now that I've seen you."

"That's exactly what I want you to do." I lightly grab onto his hand that is propped against the table. "We'll get through this, just like always."

"Ironic how I'm the one leaving now." He lowly mumbles. "This feeling sucks."

"Don't think about those emotions. Block them out." I try to reassure him. "We'll see each other before you know it. I've been thinking of coming down for Thanksgiving."

"You have?" Hope fills his voice as he slowly begins to smile. "I thought you weren't allowed to spend holidays with your dad since you live with him three months in the summer."